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Attention McDonald's: Five New Burgers for Japan McDonald's "Big America 3"

Last week, Japan McDonald's debuted their Big America 2 campaign that featured four Hulk-fist sized, America-themed burgers. The four burgers, named Idaho, Manhattan, Miami, and Texas 2, clock in at more than 500 calories each, and range from nearly tasty-looking to mildly racist.

As for our state's burger, Hanna spoke with McDonald's spokeswoman Melissa Daly about the "Texas 2 burger," which features "flavors of the Lone Star State with spicy chili beans, bacon, fresh onions, cheese and a quarter-pound of beef, all on two layers of buns." Yeah, you heard her right, beans in the chili.

So, McDonald's, we'd like to throw a follow-up campaign out there. Below and after the jump, our art director Alexander Flores created some possible new burgers for what we'd propose to be named "Big America 3." Like Big America 2, the burgers are targeting American locales. Check this out McDonald's, we included the product pitch for you as well; you don't even have to get some Mad Man to write the campaign.

Introducing the new BIG ALASKAN BURGER! Guaranteed fresh (for a limited time only). There's nothing like cracking your teeth across an the armor of an Alaskan King Crab! Grab your hammer (and your appetite!) and follow the former Alaskan governor's lead and bite back Mother Nature in the most delicious way possible with the new BIG ALASKAN BURGER!

Dave's not here, but the new BIG DENVER BURGER is! It's hard to pass on this heavy hitter, piled high with all natural (and locally grown) ingredients. And the munching doesn't stop there, because the BIG DENVER BURGER comes with three more burgers, fries, and a chocolate bacon shake!

TIMBER!!! Make way for this tall stack! Fit for a lumberjack's table-sized palms, THE BIG VERMONT BURGER takes its big flavor from the thickest industry that flows from the sweet state of Vermont, the delectable maple syrup capitol of the USA! An all-beef patty, lettuce, tomato and cheese dropped on a tall-stack of Bunyan's best, with a little bit of his buttery syrup too!

HEY! IT'S THE NEW BIG SAN FRANCISCO BURGER! Get it while it's shockingly hot! Hurry, it won't last very long.

THE BIG "BIG EASY" LOUISIANA BURGER boasts a full lineup of Creole creations from crawfish etouffee to all the fixings of a real New Orleans crawfish boil -- and don't forget the oysters on the half shell, y'all! You'll won't be able to put down, or pick up, the new BIG "BIG EASY" LOUISIANA BURGER! We gar-an-tee!

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Nick Rallo
Contact: Nick Rallo