Shanks and Dranks

Tiger Woods has given much to the world: million-dollar tournament purses, galleries that rival the pit of a Journey concert and a new standard for male horndogishness. But perhaps no gift deserves our gratitude like TopGolf, that non-golfing-golfer’s paradise and a byproduct of the sport’s Tiger-induced populism. The gift is...
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Tiger Woods has given much to the world: million-dollar tournament purses, galleries that rival the pit of a Journey concert and a new standard for male horndogishness. But perhaps no gift deserves our gratitude like TopGolf, that non-golfing-golfer’s paradise and a byproduct of the sport’s Tiger-induced populism. The gift is on sale all summer with Five Buck Thursdays, when the high-tech driving range — whose sensor-implanted balls allow golfers to aim for targets and keep score — offers $5 street tacos and quesadillas to sop up $5 bombs, Jameson shots and Tikki tropical storms. (Tikki: That was mistress No. 7, wasn’t it, Tiger?). With a DJ on the patio, you get scenes like last Thursday: short-skirted coeds doing the Dougie while their beaus shanked ball after ball into the night sky. Five Buck Thursdays last all summer at TopGolf Allen and TopGolf Dallas. See topgolf.com.
Thursdays. Starts: June 7. Continues through Aug. 23, 2012

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