On Wednesday, DPD took to social media for an open call to recruit Houston police officers interested in heading north up Interstate 45. “Sick of Houston? Ready for something bigger, better, and bolder? Dallas is calling. Step up and make the move as a lateral officer to a city with power, pride, and a skyline that proves it,” the post reads.
Sick of Houston? Ready for something bigger, better, and bolder? Dallas is calling. Step up and make the move as a lateral officer to a city with power, pride, and a skyline that proves it. Don’t wait—apply now! pic.twitter.com/A6YepSiJgM
— Dallas Police Dept (@DallasPD) May 28, 2025
Even the most deranged of Houstonians would probably concede DPD is right about the skyline, but Houston is objectively bigger not only in population, but by the number of police in its force, too. While DPD has just over 3,100 officers, HPD tallies nearly 5,300, according to its careers website. Besides, there is plenty of better material, like the fact that Houston weather feels like an IRL sweaty armpit simulation. Or the fact that their city is literally sinking faster than ours.
If DPD’s latest effort toward recruiting our fellow Texan adversaries seems surprising, though, allow us to put it in perspective. After Dallas voters approved a proposition last November to increase the number of officers on the force, the Dallas City Council voted in February to lower the department's expected goal for new recruits for this fiscal year.
DPD has long struggled to recruit more officers. New police Chief Daniel Comeaux has made this a priority, as he attributes abysmal police response times to low recruitment and outdated protocols. Comeaux came to DPD after serving as the special agent in charge of Houston’s division of the Drug Enforcement Agency, so it’s not entirely far-fetched to assert there’s a non-zero possibility he posted the Houston shade himself.
This isn’t the first time DPD has resorted to stretching beyond city limits to recruit new officers. In March of this year, the Fort Worth police department made a viral albeit cringeworthy “diss track” video parodying Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us” after DPD put up a recruitment billboard near FWPD’s headquarters. We’ll add “we’re less embarrassing on social media” to our list of defenses in the never-ending Dallas vs. Fort Worth sibling rivalry, we guess?
And if we all agree that Houston sucks, do we really want more of that city’s delusional diehards coming here? We can’t blame anyone who wants to get the hell out of there, though.
