Author, author Chris Beamon, the Ponder seventh-grader who landed in the pokey in Denton County last fall after writing a Halloween essay that described shooting a teacher and students, has moved beyond Big Chief notebooks to having his work appear in a tonier rag, Harper’s magazine. (True quote from a…

By-buyout D magazine got at least this much right about columnist John Anders’ split from The Dallas Morning News: He left behind a high salary from the daily, and he’s moving with his wife, News columnist Helen Bryant, to Austin. The question, which D purports to answer in its March…

Mission improbable OK, class, here’s another Buzz pop quiz: Give us three words that best describe The Dallas Morning News’ editorial content without using a synonym for “boring.” Time’s up. The correct answer, according to the daily’s recent in-house editorial newsletter News news — kindly faxed to us from an…

Slip up Buzz was just a boy when the great Sears catalog penis scandal rocked the nation. Maybe you remember. A model for a pair of men’s boxer shorts had a vague shadow on his inner thigh that might have been the man’s dangling johnson peeking out — if you…

Image is everything We’re sure resting easier now that The Dallas Morning News assures us that folks in, say, New Jersey aren’t troubled by the stink of corruption rising from City Councilman Al Lipscomb’s conviction for taking bribes from Yellow Cab. At least we think that was the point of…

Breaching the stonewall There’s a saying newspeople like to toss out whenever we’re feeling particularly macho: “Don’t pick fights with people who buy ink by the barrel.” It’s probably not a good idea to start battles with people who buy videotape by the mile, either, but apparently word hasn’t reached…

With friends like this… Representatives of seven historically black Texas colleges have a message for the anonymous author who is circulating an e-mail that claims Gov. George W. Bush is responsible for the schools’ imminent closings: Knock it off. The e-mail says that Bush, who once served on the board…

Paper tiger Here’s a quick question for you regular readers of this column — both of you. If Buzz were to get in a fight with our boss and wind up suspended or sacked, would you organize to save our skin? You can stop laughing now. Obviously Buzz needs to…

Good God, a good grade A bit of good news published in last Thursday’s Dallas Morning News surprised Buzz so much that we nearly spit out our morning bourb…um, coffee. A study by the Thomas B. Fordham Foundation found that Texas is “one of only a handful of states” that…

Self-flagellation People who live near Lower Greenville Avenue have long complained that they get little help from the city when it comes to regulating the glut of bars — and the shortage of parking spaces — choking their neighborhoods. Whose side is the city on? they wonder. Now they have…

Nineteen ninety-nine, the last year of the millennium, a time to… OK, hold it right there. Among the dozens of you reading this are no doubt some who just slapped their foreheads, muttered “idiot,” and grabbed a pen to fire off a letter pointing out that 1999 is not the…

Rest of the Tubervilles Linda Dennis, meet Alex Troup. He’s the guy who knows what the city did with your dead relatives — at least one of them, anyway. “I know where the Tubervilles are,” says Troup, a local historian who recently contacted the Dallas Observer after reading a news…

Art lovers Maybe it’s the Christmas spirit. Maybe the folks at Deep Ellum Center for the Arts are really, really good sports. Whatever motivated them, we here at the Dallas Observer would like to thank DECA for not pressing charges against two of the paper’s advertising staff who undecked DECA’s…

Buzz’s holiday gift guide The desperate hours are approaching. The holiday is almost here, and Buzz still doesn’t know what to get Mrs. Buzz for Christmas. She asked for a vacuum cleaner, but Buzz knows a marital test when we see one, and there’s no way we’re dumb enough to…

This space to let Federal prosecutors are challenging defense attorneys’ efforts to introduce the results of a lie-detector test into evidence in city council member Al Lipscomb’s bribery trial, The Dallas Morning News reports. The prosecutors apparently don’t think polygraph exams make good evidence. Buzz wonders, have they talked with…

Exhibit D Back when men were men, women were women, and lawyers were blessedly fewer in number, newspaper editors and reporters who offended the mighty in print stood a good chance of getting a horsewhipping. Now we’re more likely to get sued. This is yet another sign of the decline…

Now you don’t see it… And we were so getting used to its junior-high design and elementary-school writing. But it turns out we won’t have DFW Icon to kick around anymore — at least not every week. Seems the city’s latest weakly isn’t anymore: Shortly before the third issue was…

Get a grip Buzz hates being one of those guys — commonly known as “losers” or “dateless” — who laboriously explain jokes. Unfortunately, some people — commonly known as “clueless” or “Judge Darlene Whitten” — did not get, or did not appreciate, the joke behind the news story “Stop the…

Magnum CPA You would think that by now we would have lost our ability to be appalled by anything Dallas City Council members say or do. Fat chance. Buzz is talking, of course, about the move afoot either to fire City Auditor Robert Melton or to deny him a raise…

Welcome to our world In case you were wondering where your copy of DFW Icon was last week — or maybe you’re just wondering what the hell DFW Icon is this week — it turns out the newest local weekly publication wasn’t quite ready to peek out of its shell…

Paid endorsement It must have warmed Mayor Pro Tem Mary Poss’ heart: Just three weeks after she wrote a column for The Dallas Morning News’ editorial page announcing that the city’s streets were in better shape than anyone who actually drives might think, the paper published a letter filled with…

Untitled Executive assistant police chief Willard Rollins, one of the most unloved leaders in the department, finally did something to win affection from at least two of his fellow commanders — even if he didn’t mean to. When Rollins persuaded a state judge last week to give him back the…