Bars & Clubs

It's hard not to feel as though you're walking into a Manchester pub when you step foot into the East Dallas bar Strangeways. The exposed concrete walls and wooden rafters lend to the industrial British atmosphere, but what really sets the mood is the music that breathes life into the gritty space. An impressive mix of The Smiths, New Order, Joy Division, The Jam and others blast from the speakers located above the beer taps. The drinks are strong at Strangeways, but few things are more intoxicating than when a good bar plays good music.

The Lodge is, without qualification, the nicest strip club in Dallas. Hell, maybe even in Texas. For starters the dancers are absolute knockouts who don't just mount the stage and shimmy out of lingerie. They wear ornate, theme-driven costumes. They dress up as pixies. They juggle fire. They emerge from a cave facade, surrounded by vaguely unsettling stuffed animals and lacquered cedar boughs. Their chef, a legit culinarian the club plucked from Terrilli's, roasts a flavorful prime rib. The club is clean, comfortable, even refined, as far as strip joints go. The Lodge isn't really for 18-year-old first-timers to carnal commerce. It's for men and women who want to drink good hooch, dine well and enjoy the gyrations of some of Dallas' most beautiful dancers.

Sons of Hermann Hall is one of those venues that feels untouched by time, and that's a good thing. The rumors that it's possibly haunted only add to the allure, and with more than 100 years of history thumping around in those walls, seeing a show there just gives you that warm fuzzy feeling. (Or is that something ... else?) We love the upstairs room, especially now that Parade of Flesh has started booking shows there, but catching a show in the downstairs bowling alley is an added bonus. More of that, please.

Truluck's on McKinney Avenue (situated between Hotel Zaza, the Crescent Hotel and Hotel St. Germaine) features a daily happy hour during which people frequently wander over from their hotels for some cocktails and crab. During the happy hour, everything at the bar is half off (we recommend the dinner martini, made with Belvedere Intense and blue-cheese stuffed olives). There is also a special happy hour menu that boasts everything from crabcakes and shrimp to Kobe beef sliders and a goat cheese plate. More often than not there's a couple of out-of-town guys dressed to the nines sitting at the bar all by their lonesomes. All you have to do is make some small talk to get them to share a bite of their award-winning chocolate cake and, who knows, maybe if you play your cards right, they'll buy you a half-priced cocktail.

If you like your women scantily clad, covered in tattoos and sporting the trendiest hair styles, you might want to hang out at the Double Wide. The bar, located on the cusp of Expo Park and Deep Ellum, has something going on nearly every night of the week, from live performances and karaoke to cheap drink specials (like Sunday's $3 you-call-its), and is normally packed with whiskey-slinging, tight-pants-wearing hipster types. So how do you knock the socks off your hipster dream lover? Start by offering to buy her a Yoohoo Yeehaw or pickle-back shot (both drinks are popular with the regulars), then let her bum a cigarette (or the entire pack, for that matter) and then, to seal the deal, whisper these magic words into her ear: "Need a ride to the afterparty?"

The historic Oak Cliff theater boasts a roster of some of the hippest events in town. Pair that with a damn good bar that serves everything from canned beer to Prohibition-era cocktails and you have yourself a Dallas hipster den. So, whether stopping by Texas Theatre for a psychedelic DJ set, the Geeks Who Drink trivia night, or to check out your favorite cult classic film on 35mm, chances are you'll bump into a hipster dreamboat before the night's end.

Sure the joint opened in the summer of 1980, but the Round-Up Saloon on Cedar Springs is one of the only places in town that could peg a "Lady Gaga is a regular" sign on the bar. Gaga has a habit of dropping by for impromptu performances on the gay bar's legendary boot-scootin' dance floor, and back in March of last year the performer showed up while in town for her Monster Ball Tour at American Airlines Center. Gaga preformed her hit "Born this Way" to a packed bar. The pop star also made an appearance at Round-Up back in 2010 and in 2008. Since her shows don't come cheap and almost always sell out, a Little Monster's chances of catching her at Round-Up are pretty good.

The first thing you notice when stepping into the tiny club off Maple Avenue is an intimate stage with a luminous backdrop, shimmering in the glow of several multicolored spotlights. The stage, surrounded by a few small tables, hosts regular performances by some of the city's top drag performers and national acts alike. From Dominique O'Hara Skyy to Kandy Cayne and Whitney Paige, at Randy's you're guaranteed an intimate performance, and maybe even a kiss on the cheek (just don't forget to bring some single dollar bills). And after the heated performance, you may even feel the urge to step into the VIP section and cool off in the enormous open shower that's in there.

This distinction isn't given based on the television-to-patron ratio. If that were the case, The Old Monk would surely lose out in this super scientific selection process. No, this is based on a handful of criteria that enrich the sports-watching experience: Patio, food, booze and, yeah, televisions. The Old Monk has one of the best patios on Henderson, which is a generally accepted fact and of the utmost importance during basketball season. You can choose from an admirable selection of microbrewed draft and bottled beers and order some pretty tasty mussels while watching the game.

On the first Friday of every other month, drag king "community" Mustache Envy takes over the Vixen Lounge at Sue Ellen's bar on Cedar Springs. The performance is a hybrid of a drag show and variety show and includes local drag kings, musicians and burlesque dancers. The high-energy and engaging event is a perfect way to blow off steam after a long workweek, especially since cover is cheap ($3 before 10 p.m., $6 after) and drinks are cheaper (happy hour runs until 8 p.m., and there are $4.25 wells and bottles of beer after that).

This is, without qualification, the best place to drink in Dallas. Sure, they can whip up a competent cocktail, and they have a selection of infused booze that's pretty interesting. But it's the vibe that keeps us coming back. Seated on a rise at the intersection of Fort Worth Street and Sylvan Avenue, nestled within the immaculately white, mod Belmont Hotel complex, Bar Belmont offers an incomparable view of the Dallas skyline. And there's nothing more relaxing than strolling down stone paths, inlaid with ceramic shards, while sipping on a drink and admiring the desert flora. If you work up an appetite, the kitchen across the way at Smoke will send over anything from sliders to sweetbreads.

Jazz fans in Dallas are grown folks. They have a certain refined taste in art and music that can't be found in many local music clubs. Also, they go to bed at a reasonable time on weeknights. Sandaga 813 understands this, which is why the eclectic space in Exposition Park has the feel of a low-lit urban art gallery. And when you get there at 8 p.m. on a Tuesday, you can expect Shelley Carrol and his impressive band have already had their first downbeat. Careful, though. The music and the atmosphere are so good that you're likely to stay up way past your bedtime.

It's one thing when a bar has a nice patio, but Oak Cliff's The Foundry has a massive patio. The sprawling yard is enclosed on one side by several boxcars filled with comfortable chairs and tables. On one end is the coolest-looking stage in Dallas (constructed of more than 600 wood pallets), and next to it is a building that houses the bar. Even that feels like it's outdoors thanks to massive garage doors that remain open during business hours. And if patrons get hungry, Chicken Scratch is on one end of the campus. It's a kid-friendly, pet-friendly bar with plenty of space for everyone.

Liquid Zoo owner Nell Scarborough can hardly hold a conversation without humming along to whatever power ballad is playing in her East Dallas bar. She's not the only one. The room is filled with Richard Marx fans, who, according to the genuine looks on their faces as they sing along, "will be right here waiting for you." The thing is, the music coupled with Liquid Zoo's atmosphere actually makes sense. In fact, if you hang out there long enough, you might find yourself on stage doing karaoke to Michael Bolton's version of "When A Man Loves A Woman."

Denton's University of North Texas campus releases thousands of graduates into the real world each year. It's expected that they'll take their education and move away to another, bigger city. Such is not the case in Denton, where many graduates have been hanging around the town like an adult son crashing at his parents' house for a few years too many. Midlake, the enterprising band composed of UNT graduates, has created Paschall Bar for the older, more discerning Denton resident. The bartenders — often traveling musicians between tours — are trained mixologists. As such, Paschall Bar serves up the best cocktails on that side of the county line.

Beauty Bar is such a great dance club because it hosts some of the area's best DJs. Sober's Thursday night residency has become a hipster hotspot, where his mix of old-school hip-hop and indie rock packs an interesting mix of party people onto the small dance floor each week. It's a place that's saturated with glamour, from the vintage mirrors to the art deco lamps that hang over the bar, which patrons are lucky to reach as the crowd surges throughout the night. They ask you to check any pretentiousness at the velvet rope out front. At Beauty Bar, it's all about having fun.

There aren't too many wholesome hangouts amongst the strip joints in far Northwest Dallas anymore, save for one place that has been in business since 1946. The family-owned Club Schmitz is the quintessential Dallas dive bar. Very little about the place detracts from its kitschy charm. The wood-paneled walls are covered with yellowed Budweiser displays that were hung there when they were new. The shuffleboard table is one of the most well-seasoned in the area. As the woman behind the bar will tell you as she serves a greasy, mustard-tinged burger and a beer in a plastic cup, people have been coming here since they were kids and now they bring their kids. The place has become a family tradition.

Go up to any bartender at The Cedars Social and order a Ramos Gin Fizz, one of the most complicated drinks in the cocktail canon. They won't even need to refer to a recipe. Instead, they'll build the drink straight from memory. Same goes for the Old Fashioned, which many on The Cedars Social staff can perfect while holding a leisurely conversation with a patron. That's because the bartenders at Cedars Social are a different breed. Their memories are infused with cocktail history, and should anyone on either side of the bar forget it, the bar holds up a stack of cocktail books the bartenders refer to as bibles.

When The Cedars Social's head barman Michael Martensen quietly opened the doors to Bar 828 in Oak Cliff, a charity-benefiting pop-up bar in Oak Cliff, it was only a matter of minutes until the place was packed. Martensen brought in the area's top bartenders to mix drinks. It was so popular that only a few months later he did the same thing in Deep Ellum, where Hid In popped up in Cane Roso's extra room. It was like a bartender's playground, where mixologists were able to get a little more adventurous than they would in their home bars.

It's not the biggest as far as brewpubs go, or at least doesn't have the brewing capacity of a Humperdink's, Gordon Biersch or BJ's. In fact, it only brews one beer at a time to complement its array of other fine ales and lagers. But brewing a new offering every week, this self-proclaimed "nanobrewery" makes up for its small output with creativity, offering amateur brewers the chance to collaborate on experimental batches. And even if one of them turns out to be a dud, there are always the dozens of other brews to choose from. Wine selection and food ain't half bad, either.

The first of four new breweries to open in the past year, Deep Ellum Brewing Co. is the biggest and offers the widest selection. Helmed by John Reardon and the capable and creative brewmaster Drew Huerter, DEBC rolls out a new style every few weeks. They're almost always good to great, and all have some creative spin on an established style. The India Pale Ale is an outstanding example of the style, Darkest Hour is a wonderfully complex rye imperial stout and Farmhouse Wit manages to capture the best of two different styles. The many other offerings are excellent too, and you probably won't have to wait long for yet another to emerge.

One of the most cathartic sounds in Dallas is a crunch. It's the sound of gravel under your shoe upon that first step into Lee Harvey's expansive patio, where rickety wood benches rest around old candles and wood-burning ovens smoke away your troubles. There's no better place in Dallas to undo that tight tie and flip off the blazer after a crushing loss, whether it be a campaign or something else, and flop down with an ice-cold Miller High Life. Go at night for maximum dim wallowing.

"Joyful" is the only word to describe Dallas Eagle on a busy Saturday night, as the jock-strapped bartenders spin bottles next to a packed dance-floor. Meanwhile, leather-clad patrons gather underneath trees strung with Christmas lights out on the spacious back patio to engage in heavy flirting or maybe some light bondage. The Eagle's been a well-loved institution for more than 15 years now, giving the city's leathermen and -women a place to call their own. These days, they'll usually welcome an outsider with a fair amount of good humor, provided that you at least attempt to adhere to the dress code (if leather's not your thing, at least scare up a black tee, some tight jeans and a pair of cowboy boots). Try not to gape like a yokel at any flogging or spanking taking place, and tip your mostly naked bartender, please.

On Friday, April 6, Viva Dallas, alongside "SINsation," the aerial acrobatics of Alley Oops and Fleur de Tease, performed a burlesque version of Alice in Wonderland. Imagine: "Alice" in a throat-clearingly-perfect split a few feet above the stage. Wild stuff from the burlesque troupe that puts on the most exciting themed burlesque in Dallas. Other themes this year have included Cirque du Soleil, Cinco de Mayo and a tribute to Dick Clark at the Lakewood Theater. You can follow their performances at vivadallasburlesque.com and at our paper's own NSFW slideshows. Enjoy.

If you've ever seen Black Swan's Gabe Sanchez make a drink, you know he takes his profession of tending bar seriously. He focuses on drink-making like a chemist. You will sit and watch him drop a tincture from New Orelans in your drink, and he will tell you what its health benefits are. Or, perhaps you will watch him sear a peach with some sort of futuristic laser and then skillfully balance it over your whiskey drink. Regardless, there's going to be some alchemy. And then you will be drunk. Science is golden.

The former Tejano bar near the corner of Peak and Elm streets was just waiting for the right person. That person was Brooke Humphries, owner of Barcadia, Beauty Bar and the newly opened Mudsmith coffee shop. As a veteran of the Dallas club/DJ/house music scene, she's turned It'll Do into an East Dallas dance club where bottle service and status don't apply. Hopefully, her flag-planting will get some other businesses to follow suit in East Ellum.

As Mojo Nixon sang, "Elvis is everywhere," and that is especially true of the Single Wide, Double Wide's little sister on Greenville. From the bust of Mr. Presley behind the bar, to the Elvis pinball machine on the back wall, you need only one guess as to who their patron saint is.

Isn't that what we all really want? A place to hear a Grauzone song while drinking PranQster out of a goblet? This dive is what East Dallas needs more of, a reappropriated space (it looks like it might have been an auto body shop at one point) that has a dizzying beer selection, provides a moping place away from Deep Ellum or Uptown and plays the Smiths at least three times a night.

So you're all grown up. You're a few years out of college and climbing the professional ladder. Maybe you even have a wife. Still, from time to time you can't help but yearn for the days of popped collars and keg stands and stumbling to class on no sleep and reeking of cheap whiskey. That's where the Katy Trail Ice House comes in. Sure, it gets points for its enormous shaded patio and beer glasses the size of a donkey's head, but it's the atmosphere that makes it unique. Nowhere else in Dallas captures the fuck-the-world casualness of a Friday night in college: just getting together with some bros, kicking back some donkey-head-sized brewskis and welcoming the weekend by punishing your liver. Keg stands, alas, are discouraged.

Deep Ellum's newest drinkery has a backlit bar outlined with beautiful cutouts of the bar's namesake bird, a row of shiny red stools and an exceptionally beautiful waitstaff. The tunes range from old blues to the sugariest Top 40, but the crowd is always friendly and there's never a shortage of places to sit: at the bar, on the velvet couches upstairs or outside on the back patio, where you can toss beanbags and make a few new friends. Despite its glam vibe and the fancy cocktails on offer, the small size of the place makes it feel like a friendly neighborhood spot. But we don't think anybody would bat an eye if you got the urge to wear your favorite corset there while sipping a sidecar. And that is always a very good thing.

You know it's a good bar when all of the city's top bartenders go there to hang out after they punch the clock at their respective bars. Such is the case with The Windmill Lounge, which has earned its place as the elder statesman of the local cocktail craft. That's because long before the current mixology trend was in fashion, owners Charlie Papaceno and Louise Owens were sliding classic cocktails down the bar. Not to mention that they've been drinking for a collective 60-odd years, a length of time that makes any liver cower in fear. But if you just want a Budweiser and a shot, they're happy to serve that, too. Look around the bar, it's what all those bartenders are drinking anyway.

The age of the three-martini lunch went the way of Lehman Bros., but the downtown Dallas mixology titan, The Chesterfield, has made a way for you to get totally sloshed before noon on a workday without the guilt. Every weekday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., The Chesterfield offers a menu of $1 cocktails that includes a vanilla old fashioned, a basil gimlet, a raspberry Collins, the margarita-like Buena Suerte and the Ward Eight. The only catch is you have to order food, which will unfortunately slow the alcohol-to-bloodstream speed. The best thing you can get at The Chesterfield's lunch happy hour, besides a rock solid buzz, is the advice on the bottom of the menu: "Don't tell your boss you were here."

This veteran Deep Ellum outpost has been the site of many shows that elicit an "I was there, man." But since reopening three years ago, they've stepped their game way up and started pulling in acts beyond the typical Trees metal/punk/rock fare, including a healthy new roster of hip-hop. Makes sense: All those acts sound great pumped out of Trees' top-notch sound system, but that volume only serves as a reminder that Trees started out a rock club and will die a rock club.

We've lauded their fried pickles in the past, and those wild boar quesadillas are a glutton's dream, but Love & War in Texas' best feature is a wealth of Texas music pride to match its epic name. Every weekend, L&W's dance floor is packed with two-steppers hootin' and hollerin' to the best country Texas has to offer. Hayes Carll has dropped in, and Rusty Wier was a venue favorite. It's a true Texas honky-tonk that's managed to keep up with the times while still keeping its dusty charm.

As much as we love Adair's, we actually fit in with the crowd there, and we don't wear Stetsons or shit-kickers. As great as the band schedule at Billy Bob's Texas may be, it's big enough to be host to Willie Nelson and has live rodeo action — more a country-music Six Flags than actual tonk. Post Time feels like the real deal. Its older crowd, line dancing, live country and cheap drinks at happy hour give it an authentic enough feel that we wondered if we'd even pass a dress-code inspection without a trip to Western Warehouse first. But we managed to have a good time nonetheless.

Hey, Majestic Theatre. Has anyone told you lately how beautiful you are? It's true. You are ... majestic. What we wish is that you had more concerts in you, because your sound system is also pretty great. Not just the odd summer show here, or comedy gig there, but a regular string of shows at which your talents could really shine as brightly as that lovely chandelier in your lobby.