Perfect FIT

But any resentment has been set aside for what has evolved, in only two years, into a jaw-droppingly disciplined arrangement of quality fare. I saw four shows in five consecutive hours on my first go-round at the festival, and my butt didn’t ache once. The frequent breaks helped, of course–never…

I was a Flaming Idiot…

Artists often accuse critics of being frustrated performers, as a way to counter the opinions they don’t like–he/she wouldn’t have the guts to get up there and do what I do. It’s true that I flirted with actorly ambitions in high school and college, but I never wanted to publicly…

Easy as Pi

I’m stuck in the waiting room of a car-repair shop. My only companions are a humming cola vending machine, a gurgling coffee maker, and a blue iMac that–every few minutes, in a soft, raspy female voice–says “Please…touch me…now.” Though the computer probably is just selling maintenance agreements or car accessories,…

Opposite of good

Warning Sign No. 1 that a TV series isn’t going to stick around long: It gets dumped in the summer, when 58 people are watching television shows not named Survivor. Warning Sign No. 2: Said series debut gets shelved at the last minute, meaning every TV critic in the country…

Idiotic acrobatics

Turns out it’s not as far from Waxahachie to Off-Broadway as we thought–or from the tights-clad bawdy high jinks of the 16th century to 21st-century neo-vaudeville. Those actors who bravely don English peasant attire to stroll through Scarborough Faire and harass sweating patrons can only be doing what in showbiz…

Feelin’ the draft

It’s nearing 6 p.m. as the happy-hour crowd shuffles through heavy doors. Making the trek to Addison and this typically trendy suburban pub–Rock Bottom Brewery, a generic Belt Line eatery featuring greasy personal pizzas and cold hot wings, among other good-if-you’re-hammered sustenance–was an adventure for most, considering the Tollway’s ludicrous…

Cry hard

Why is the film called Disney’s The Kid? Is it really possible that the studio was so concerned that someone might actually mistake the film for an update of the Chaplin classic that the brand name had to be formally incorporated in the title? Or was this an attempt to…

The sick sense

Is there a more bankrupt genre than the parody movie? Many movies nowadays are so painfully self-aware and referential that there often isn’t much left to make fun of, which is especially the case for Kevin Williamson-penned films like Scream and its clones, clichéd teen-slasher movies that were regarded as…

Forgive its trespasses

Director Alison Maclean, from Canada by way of New Zealand, turns her camera on the American landscape–or, more accurately, the underbelly of the American landscape–in Jesus’ Son, an uneven but often effective adaptation of Denis Johnson’s autobiographical book. Billy Crudup stars as a thoroughly marginalized character known to his friends…

Jaws of life

In his discomfiting 1998 book Easy Riders, Raging Bulls, Peter Biskind painted a none-too-flattering portrait of a post-Jaws Steven Spielberg. The author portrayed him as a raging egomaniac who wanted a writing credit on the film, though he contributed very little to the script. Indeed, the film’s most famous monologue,…

String section

How many regular patrons of Dallas Summer Musicals will wander innocently into Parade, the latest imported presentation, with images inside their heads of cheerfully tacky floats, colorful twirling parasols, and the painted round faces of children? This very new musical from playwright Alfred Uhry, director Harold Prince, and composer Jason…

Banter

Banter The brilliant arts pundits at The New York Times were profoundly perplexed about why the national ratings for this year’s Tony Awards TV broadcast were not only low (that’s typical), but among the lowest in the show’s history. Talk about confusing your fishbowl for the Atlantic Ocean. Since the…

Dino-might

The kids were playing in three areas–the excavation site, fossil-rubbing station, and dinosaur book-and-toy table–when the adults disappeared around the corner into Texas Dinosaurs: Life and Death in the Big Bend. They had seen the strobe-light lightning bolts and heard the recorded sounds of a thunderstorm rolling from where they…

The final frontier

Had Julian Glover not broken his leg at the beginning of January, it’s quite likely he would be off filming a movie. But, Glover reminds, having a broken leg in the movie business is like being pregnant in the movie business: “It lasts five years,” meaning casting agents don’t phone…

Positive reinforcement

I’m not from ’round here, y’all. Don’t speak with a drawl. Don’t wear a big hat or boots or nut-hugger jeans. Don’t drink Shiner, whatever that is. Definitely–underscore, boldface, italics, capitals–don’t listen to country music. So maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m too dense, too East Coast, too…

Surf’s down

The press kit for The Perfect Storm contains the damnedest thing I’ve ever read. Right at the top, there is a “special request to the press” that reads, in full: “Warner Bros. Pictures would appreciate the press’ cooperation in not revealing the ending of this film to their readers, viewers…

Saving Private Mel

Despite what many believe, it doesn’t come down to explosions, star power, or millions of greenbacks thrown at the producers. The true indicator of success for a summer movie is The Moment, that one memorable scene that sticks in your head, the one that Billy Crystal parodies the following spring…

Squirrel meat

So this is what Robert De Niro’s career has come to, starring in films in which he parodies his most familiar roles until he becomes the master painter urinating on his own beautiful canvases. Last year, it was pleasant and harmless enough: Analyze This was no Sopranos, but at least…

Old thrills

A lot of people love Billy Wilder’s 1957 movie version of Agatha Christie’s Witness for the Prosecution, if only for the chance to see Marlene Dietrich hag it up as the mysterious crone who delivers incriminating letters to a murder defendant’s attorney. Her dual role gave away the film’s most…

Reluctance day

Ah, Independence Day. It’s the time to ponder our good fortune of living in this great country of ours; the time to give thanks for our freedom; the time to patronize overcrowded lakes and eat potato salad. What a grand day, when we can find some really good bargains on…

Horse sense

In one of the remarkable horse-racing passages in Jane Smiley’s new novel, a first-time jockey named Roberto aboard a workaday thoroughbred named Justa Bob lets the gentle beast do the thinking. The horse, running in perfect tempo like a metronome, avoids the rail and picks his way through various openings…

Before the war

For most Americans, the social and political issues underlying Jose Luis Cuerda’s ButterflyButterflybBu may seem remote at best. The tensions between republicans and fascists in Spain after the fall of that nation’s monarchy in 1931, and dictator Francisco Franco’s victory in the bloody Spanish Civil War, may have stirred strong…