Joe Bob Briggs

How come any time you meet a new gal who might be willing to have sex with you, every other woman you know can smell that she’s in town? They don’t know her name. They don’t know where she came from. They just suddenly know that there’s a possibility you…

Great Dane

In the canon of angry white males produced by William Shakespeare, Hamlet is hardest to figure out. Richard III chokes on self-pity; Macbeth buries himself alive with ambition; Lear is felled by the family neglect born of his own megalomania. To identify exactly which of Hamlet’s peccadilloes finally undoes him…

Valley of indecision

Los Angeles is an elastic city, the kind that people who have never been to feel comfortable projecting attributes on, usually based on nothing more than rumor, supposition, or a willingness to buy into popular cliches. Especially in the movies, it has the capacity to be all things for all…

Dynamic duo

Heterosexual Anglo moviegoers often find it difficult to understand why America’s various minority groups kick up a ruckus every now and then about the way they’re portrayed on movie screens. From Jesse Jackson’s protest outside this year’s Academy Awards ceremony to the recent condemnation of the action comedy Bulletproof from…

Events for the week

thursday october 3 Camping With Henry and Tom: In the spirit of Nicolas Roeg’s priceless script of Insignificance, which detailed a fictional conversation of the real-life hotel meeting between Albert Einstein and Marilyn Monroe, playwright Mark St. Germain wrote his comic exploration, Camping With Henry and Tom, in 1993, then…

Joe Bob Briggs

I was asking my buddy Rhett Beavers which was better–to kick your girlfriend out of the trailer house, or to get kicked out of the trailer house. I say, “Get kicked.” Much cleaner. You’re on the road five minutes later. If she ever sues you, you’re the victim. And, most…

Cold War curio

The 1950s often are cited as this century’s watershed for American theater. It was then that Lee Strasberg’s Actor’s Studio, whose members worshiped at the altar of a Russian psychoanalytic guru named Stanislavsky, dominated Broadway and off-Broadway headlines with a method based on recalling real-life emotional moments and transferring them…

Empty calories

Whenever food acts as a central component in a movie, it occupies a peculiar role–probably because, since eating is something everyone can relate to, it’s a reliable way to establish common ground with the audience even though everyone’s experience with it differs. Movie food delivers gratification without calories, even when…

Invasive procedure

I almost never react to situations the same way that people in movies do. Maybe I’m just too short-tempered and confrontational, but I always sense that if the hero isn’t as adept at defending himself against unwelcome verbal attacks as I imagine myself to be, then he’s not much of…

Events for the week

thursday september 26 Hamlet: Kitchen Dog Theatre stirs up an autumn blast of theatrical introspection with its production of Hamlet, one of Shakespeare’s most-produced tragedies. It’s also one of his least understood. This means that, unlike Romeo and Juliet or Othello–straightforward Shakespearean studies of human nature that should be mothballed…

Joe Bob Briggs

Last week I decided it was time to update my personal ad. I think it had something to do with Wanda Bodine telling me that I was “the kind of scumball that no sane woman would ever date.” First I tried my usual flat-out lies: “Michael Bolton-lover likes trips to…

Towering achievement

The critical disdain into which playwright Edward Albee sunk from the late ’70s through the early ’90s isn’t the surprise of his career. That he ever enjoyed the relatively brief affection of Broadway audiences and critics is the real anomaly. Albee has been called the heir to Arthur Miller and…

Attack of the harpies

No two films should be more dissimilar than Girls Town and The First Wives Club, which open this weekend in Dallas movie theaters. Girls Town spent most of 1996 as a hot indie flick on the festival circuit, its story of a trio of New Jersey high-school seniors who strike…

Wooden nickel

American Buffalo, with Dustin Hoffman and Dennis Franz parrying with playwright David Mamet’s razor-sharp dialogue, promised to be the sleeper tour de force of the season. The opportunity to see Mamet’s sharply honed lines bandied about by actors with an innate understanding of the rhythm of words should have been…

Events for the week

friday september 20 Wallace & Gromit: The Best of Aardman Animation: Packaged together into one feature-length program are nine award-winning shorts from the British-based Aardman Animations studio, recognized throughout the world for cartoons and commercials that mix the surreal and the slapstick. Every studio has had its classic duos, and…

Joe Bob Briggs

Going immediately to No. 1 on my Best of ’86 List was David Cronenberg’s drive-in masterpiece remake of The Fly, which was even better than the one Dave had already clocked in the Drive-In Hall of Fame, The Brood. What we got here is the same story as the 1958…

Heavenly trip

The neglect of American playwright Clifford Odets is partly his fault, partly ours. It’s certainly true that Odets–who applied his talents to screenwriting but could barely stomach the Hollywood establishment in the ’40s and ’50s–had a sanctimonious tone in his author’s voice. Indeed, his political affiliations were more naked than…

Ad nauseam

When filmmakers who already possess morbid, vibrant mentalities discover the topic of food obsession, duck. Audiences are likely to be splattered with all manner of deeply personal opinions about the human condition. Trouble is, our most neurotic talents in contemporary cinema know that a ritual so intimate as eating is…

For real

Bill Watterston, the cartoonist who created Calvin & Hobbes, was so devoted to the concept of his strip–that a little boy’s toy tiger might actually come to life, but only he could see it–that he refused to merchandise the characters. It was as if making Hobbes a real stuffed animal…

Events for the week

thursday september 12 Three Tall Women: Six years ago, Edward Albee couldn’t catch a cold in American theater, having been pretty much shunned as a has-been writer wilting in the camp shadow of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Thanks to a 1994 Pulitzer for Three Tall Women and a spectacularly…

Joe Bob Briggs

Lately quite a few people have been calling me a “greasy yahoo redneck” or a “greasy redneck yahoo” or, for those who didn’t graduate eighth grade, a “jerk.” It feels good. I thought I’d lost the touch. It’s been years since I’ve gotten good, solid American hate mail, which always…

Fractured fairy tales

There’s a moment near the beginning of Into the Woods, Theatre Three’s latest production, when you know you’ve ventured into Sondheim territory–and director Jac Alder has provided you with a whip-smart, conscientious map. Little Red Riding Hood (Emily Parsons) has just detailed her purpose for traveling through the trees–to bring…