Collared

Your hooey detector will probably start beeping about 10 minutes into British filmmaker Antonia Bird’s controversial melodrama Priest when Father Greg (Linus Roach), a young man of the cloth newly transferred to a blue-collar Liverpool parish, rises to address his congregation. These days, he complains from the pulpit, we are…

Rushes

The latest issue of the Dallas-based bimonthly fanzine Hong Kong Film Connection (which only recently went national) is on sale now at an independent or Asian-owned video store near you, and it includes plenty of thoughtful, well-researched articles worth mentioning here. They include a wrapup of 1994 Hong Kong box-office…

The importance of being Pauly

Flashbulbs and teen squeals announce Pauly Shore’s arrival at Planet Hollywood in the West End. Amid a journalistic sea of TV and still cameras and a small cluster of mostly young fans, the 27-year-old former MTV VJ and star of numerous slapstick movies–the latest of which, Jury Duty, opens April…

Joe Bob Briggs

This week I’m wondering why those fat, cow-faced husbands on “Oprah” never defend themselves. You know the guys I’m talking about? They bring out some chunky, ticked-off Jenny Craig dropout with a lab experiment on her head resulting in Blonde Meltdown, and she says, “Oprah, I found out he was…

Beating heart

In a terrifying barroom sequence about 15 minutes into Once Were Warriors, a stark melodrama about the lives of Maori tribesman living in the urban slums of New Zealand, Jake Heke (Temeura Owen)–a pumped-up, alcoholic patriarch of a troubled Maori clan who looks like Robert DeNiro on steroids–watches as a…

Lover men

Nick Nolte’s craggily handsome face, steely eyes, and whiskey-and-cigarettes voice are the epitome of ravaged old-movie grandeur. But in his heart, he’s always been a character actor, not an icon. Although resourceful directors have managed to use him that way–notably Walter Hill in 48 HRS. and Extreme Prejudice and Karel…

Rushes

There’s a reason why you’ll rarely read about music videos in this space: most of them are so unimaginative and dull that I can barely stand to look at them. Having said that, I’ll now violate my own pronouncement and tell you about a video promoting “Possum Kingdom,” a single…

Joe Bob Briggs

How come cops always stomp all over the crime scene? How come, every time you watch a criminal trial, there’s some cop who drops a glob of potato salad on the bloody footprint, or leaves the fingerprint cards on the dashboard of his Chevy Nova and burns ’em up, or…

Stupid Dave tricks

Because I usually enjoy David Letterman’s nightly talk show, I wish I could say he did a great job hosting the 67th Annual Academy Awards. I’ll admit I enjoyed some of his jokes and all of his filmed segments, particularly the “Would you like to buy a monkey” bit; between…

Distant thunder

Before the Rain, a three-part anthology of stories from the war-torn Balkan nation of Macedonia, is as powerful and passionate an examination of war as Schindler’s List. And although there isn’t a single dull or unoriginal shot anywhere in the picture, and the film is eloquently performed by an international…

Hellbound

There’s a good reason why the new thriller Hideaway is proudly designated “A Film by Brett Leonard,” a name few casual moviegoers would recognize, let alone regard with high esteem. Leonard, who directed the cyberpunk-revamped movie version of Stephen King’s short story The Lawnmower Man, is a high-tech showman with…

Joe Bob Briggs

Women are Now. Men are Later. Women wanna talk about it now. Men wanna talk about it later. Women wanna go out to eat Tonight. Men wanna go out to eat Tomorrow. Women wanna go to the beach when they Feel Like It. Men wanna go to the beach when…

Rushes

In an age when virtually everyone has a prepared statement for the press–if not a calculated, image-reinforcing soundbite–it’s surprising and refreshing to find an artist who’s almost speechless when the time comes to discuss her craft. At first, it was a shock that Miranda Richardson, 1995 Oscar nominee for Best…

Rushes

It’s a good bet that in any packed, claustrophobic gathering of movie buffs, some wiseacre will declare, “This reminds me of the stateroom scene in A Night at the Opera.” The scene, which occurs in the Marx Brothers’ 1935 gem, occurs aboard an ocean liner in which the brothers are…

Kicking the corpse

Writer-director Tim Burton’s recent biographical film, Ed Wood, offers an easy metaphor for the state of the horror film: an elderly, decrepit Bela Lugosi (Martin Landau) dressed in his Dracula getup, now incapable of scaring even an 8-year-old trick-or-treater. The image encapsulates one of the central concerns of Burton’s films:…

Joe Bob Briggs

This guy got his head cut off by an elevator in the Bronx. Did you hear about this? The guy’s gettin’ off the elevator, it starts to go up real fast while the door is still open. The guy loses his balance, leans toward the elevator, and it cuts his…

Barely there

Set in 1817 during the aftermath of the Napoleonic wars, Colonel Chabert is about a legendary soldier presumed dead who returns home to discover that life has proceeded without him, then struggles to reclaim his identity, causing intense emotional disruptions all around him. The title character is played by the…

An ass and a banjo

It’s pointless to respectfully review a film as ineptly written, indifferently directed, and slothfully performed as Just Cause, the new legal thriller about a Harvard law professor and anti-death penalty advocate (Sean Connery) who heads down south to the Florida Everglades to win freedom for condemned black murderer Bobby Earl…

Nun so bold

Subdued, elegant, and directed with disarming simplicity, I, the Worst of All (Yo, La Peor de Todas) is the kind of historical drama whose resonance sneaks up on you. On the surface, it’s an intimate religious drama about a minor figure in Catholic history, a 17th-century Mexican writer and nun…

Rushes

A distinctive voice in Texas criticism was lost February 16 when Dallas Morning News film writer Russell Smith died in his Dallas home of AIDS complications. He was 38. Born and raised in Dallas, he joined the Dallas Morning News 12 years ago, working as a copy editor and a…

Joe Bob Briggs

Okay, I’m gonna describe this woman. She’s got fluffy blonde hair–teased, permed, and coiffed–about $300 worth. She’s got a straight nose, thin lips and large bedroomy eyes. She wears tiny pearl earrings and a simple pearl necklace that hangs down onto a tanned neck and chest. Her dress is classic–either…

Crime of one

Few literature students have escaped exposure to the works of T.S. Eliot. Although Eliot’s influence has waned somewhat, he represented, for the post-World War II American academic elite, a living wish-fulfillment fantasy of everything they thought a man of letters should be–Anglophilic to the extreme (he renounced his American citizenship…