Joe Bob Briggs

Why is every election between the Republican Idiot and the Democratic Idiot? And then if some third guy shows up, everybody says, “I can’t vote for him. He’s an idiot.” Why is the third guy always an idiot? He’s the only one who doesn’t have 150 years of history behind…

Rushes

The latest issue of local fanzine publisher Clyde Gentry’s Chinese movie guide Hong Kong Film Connection hits stores November 23. It includes reviews of every Hong Kong movie on video or coming soon to stateside theaters; an update on the latest career moves of the Asian Steve McQueen, Chow Yun-Fat;…

Moldily go

This is how Captain James Tiberius Kirk dies: he jumps across a broken bridge to retrieve a device–whose function is too complicated, and frankly too unimportant, to describe in any detail–the bridge gives way, and he falls into a ravine. Yes, Captain Kirk, the man who cheated death a million…

Slam dunk

To know what basketball is, you must live, eat, drink, sleep, and sex it; let other people play it. For a select few, it isn’t a game but a way of life, an identity, a dream of escape from abject poverty. Those who can realize this dream are the ones…

Joe Bob Briggs

What is this Inner Child dealie? What are people talkin’ about when they say they need to “get in touch with my Inner Child”? I’ve been hearin’ this for several years now, and ever time I hear it I sit there like a goombah, pretendin’ I know exactly what they’re…

Channel surfing

The 1994 Dallas Video Festival is as eclectic and erratic as the medium itself. The good stuff is some of the best you’ll see anywhere in any medium, and the bad stuff is damn near unwatchable. But that’s what makes this Festival so invaluable, not just to the audiovisual scene…

Rushes

While sitting through Dreams of Equality and Thinking Like a Woman: the Life and Times of Mary Kay Ash, two locally produced movies scheduled for opening night of the Dallas Video Festival, I couldn’t help wondering: at what point, exactly, did the passion go out of Cynthia Salzman Mondell and…

Man trouble

Although playwright David Mamet swears he wrote Oleanna before the Clarence Thomas-Anita Hill hearings, you can’t help but feel the same bitter resentments and frustrated rage drifting out of Mamet’s two-character drama that turned Hill’s testimony into a kind of national catharsis. Mamet is aiming to achieve that same kind…

Bloodlust

Except for hardcore porn, no movie genre is as disreputable as horror. It is inherently, and proudly, visceral–a severed finger in the champagne flute of cinema history. Even when a highbrow auteur like David Cronenberg or Stanley Kubrick comes along and tries to swathe the genre’s bleeding, ripped-up heart with…

Rushes

We’re in the movies! The Dallas Observer’s downtown digs will become a makeshift film set courtesy of the crew of Tornado, a new noirish thriller starring James Spader, Eric Stoltz, Peter Strauss, and toothy ’70s macho icon James Coburn. “It’s a blackmail mystery that takes place amongst a group of…

Joe Bob Briggs

Ever once in a while some photographer or hiker or anthropologist or somebody finds a new “Stone Age tribe” living in Papua, New Guinea or Borneo or the Congo or the Amazon River Basin. A big article comes out in Time magazine, and somebody writes a book about how “gentle”…

I’m not okay, you’re bored

In the closing credits to his comic feature film debut Clerks, writer-director Kevin Smith thanks Jim Jarmusch, Spike Lee, and Richard Linklater, among others, for inspiration. It’s a good guess Smith looks to those filmmakers more as trailblazers than artistic influences. Although Clerks traffics in the same kind of confused,…

Enema mine

Except for Nicolas Cage, there’s no leading man in movies today who suffers as exquisitely as Matthew Broderick. He’s at his best when his characters are at their down-and-out lowest–struggling to hold onto some small shred of dignity while life is gleefully retching on them. He’s a versatile actor, but…

Loony tunes

It’s a rainy Thursday afternoon at the headquarters of DNA Animation, Dallas’ seven-year-old hub of gleeful bad taste and excess, and the company’s core group of artists–Keith Alcorn, Paul Claerhout, John Davis, and Debbie Dunning–are taking a break. Huddled around a television set in one corner of the cluttered, computer-laden…

Thanks for the mammaries

At a time in which sex and violence in the movies is blamed for every conceivable social ill, talking to the man who made them both a legitimate entertainment experience feels like an audience with the devil. During a four-decade career, 72-year-old filmmaker Russ Meyer has watched American gender issues…

Joe Bob Briggs

A guy in New Jersey got hauled into court for whacking a rat with a broom handle. The charge: “needlessly killing a rodent.” The Goody Two Shoes Lobby: the Newark Humane Society. Welcome to the era of Rat Rights. I would think that, if any city would be happy to…