SMU Can’t Cheer Up or Pony Up

The Washington Post reports this morning that the NCAA’s “death penalty” is dead — thanks to what it did to SMU, which hasn’t been to a bowl game since 1984 and is a woeful 1-4 this season. Coach Phil Bennett, who is 17-42 during his six years on the Hilltop,…

Young Folk Sticks Around and Sees Last Night Through

Just 11 months ago, Arizona’s Nick Folk was named Pac-10 Football Player of the Week. Now, he’s a burgeoning NFL legend. Five interceptions. Three freak touchdowns. Two Terrell Owens drops. And, finally, after a crazy Cowboys game that will rank alongside the Hail Mary on the list of cliffhanger climaxes,…

Because You Can’t See This Ad Enough

Especially this morning. Tony Romo’s QB rating might have been a woeful 49.9 against the Buffalo Bills, what with his throwing the ball away five times and fumbling it away once, but his Q rating’s clearly much, much higher. But, c’mon — Rowdy? –Robert Wilonsky…

You Betcha: Week 5

Know how you know you’re not gay? You’re so damned hot and successful you can get away with asking your friends if they’re gay. On your own radio show. On his weekly “Inside the Huddle” show, broadcast live from the Gaylord Texan each Tuesday night on KLLI-FM (105.3), Dallas Cowboys…

Rangers: The Texas Treadmills

Dawdling in the dugout before his team’s final night home game of the 2007 season, Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington is asked to give himself a grade for his rookie year. “I don’t have time for that kind of stuff,” Washington says with a smile. “I’ll let you guys do…

On Your Mark … Get Set … Goal?

Every year when the State Fair of Texas rolls around my optimism somehow reboots. This is the year, I surmise in my most naïve tone. The year I finally conquer my nemisis, the frustrating, impossible game where the goal is to tilt an empty beer bottle upright using a fishing…

The Hardest Way Possible to Get From Austin to Dallas

For those wondering how to fill their Texas-OU game week schedule, this morning’s Austin American-Statesman has the complete rundown of events, beginning with Thursday’s “Run to Dallas” at 11 a.m. Says the Statesman, “Coach Mack Brown hands game ball to NROTC students at Royal-Memorial Stadium to start fundraising relay run…

The Texas Rangers Provided Us With Yet Another Season in Hell

Another season, another last-place finish, another shrug, another yawn. In the wake of an obscure 75-87 disappointment that has already camouflaged itself alongside the other 22 losing seasons in franchise history, you’d like to hear something drastic or at least different from the Texas Rangers. Maybe, “Shit’s gonna change!” Or,…

Save The Date: February 3

Because that’s when we’ll all be in Glendale, Arizona, watching the Cowboys win Super Bowl XLII. Right? While you’re booking your reservations, a little perspective on Dallas’ 4-0 start, punctuated by Sunday’s 35-7 dismantling of the St. Louis Rams. The Cowboys haven’t started a season this awesome since Don Meredith…

Run, Tony, Run!

Having missed the first half of Cowboys-Rams due to prior obligations, I didn’t get to see the already-legendary Tony Romo scramble — now an IHOP breakfast special, if I am not mistaken — till later in the day. Now, I’ve seen it, oh, 49 times. Why not make it one…

You Betcha: Week 4

If Mr. Jordan could somehow put the ghost of Joe Pendleton into the body of Marc Bulger, then maybe the Rams would have a chance Sunday. Two words: Trap. Game. Your 3-0 Cowboys believe their poop is perfume. The 0-3 St. Louis Rams are injured, insulted and, incredibly dangerous. Not…

Wood on Woods (Or: Silver Balls)

Remember how little Charlie Bucket finds a golden ticket and gets to tour Willie Wonka’s chocolate factory? This is a similar tale. Except Charlie Bucket is Arlington’s Steve Wood, the golden ticket is actually a silver golf ball, and Mr. Wonka is none other than, gulp, Tiger Woods. Wood, 40,…

Roy Tarpley Returns, This Time to Sue the Dallas Mavericks

There are two words no more heartbreaking to Dallas Mavericks fans than “Roy” and “Tarpley.” Exactly two decades ago, he was named to the NBA’s All-Rookie team — while, at the same time, he was being ordered to enter the league’s rehab center for chemical abuse. It was the first…

Pete Sampras Returns to Royalty

Elvis played a sold-out Cotton Bowl in 1956. Pavarotti serenaded Reunion Arena in 1995, and at the 2004 Byron Nelson Classic, Tiger Woods received a standing ovation—upon exiting a portable toilet. And there he was last Saturday night, the latest star near his career’s apex to pass through Dallas. But…

Batter Worlds

From human hands, to leather gloves. On the heels of the highly successful and semi-controversial exhibition delving into the human body, the Dallas Museum of Nature & Science this week debuts its kindler, gentler endeavor — baseball. In conjunction with the State Fair of Texas, the DMNS will host Baseball…

Cuban Dancing

New York magazine’s reporting that the Dallas Mavs owner has “no chance” of ever owning the Chicago Cubs. A billion dollars he would disagree with the assessment. There’s a crazy story in New York magazine that says the Yanks’ third baseman, Alex Rodriguez, might be outta NYC at the end…

!Viva Los Vaqueros!

Was that the Twilight Zone or Telemundo? Either way, the Cowboys’ utter dismantling of the defending NFC Champion Chicago Bears was bizarre, shocking and, let’s face it, delicious. 13-10? Maybe. 34-10? Pinch me. In Dallas a 3-0 start means the Cowboys are going to the Super Bowl. While in Chicago,…

The Havoc of Force

Mark Stuertz John Force lights a nifty burnout before a qualifying run on Saturday. One day later, his car was cut in half, and Force was in the hospital. You could see who had the Force just by wandering through the pits. While there was a small swell around Tommy…