Listen, we know all your best pals who are cooler and funnier and have way more interesting lives than you do are going down to SxSW in a month. They're going to have the most amazing time getting hammered, getting hopped up on the Molly and probably making out with strangers who smell like they've slept on a different couch every night for three days. In between all of their outrageous YOLO-times, they'll also scramble to see a host of life-changing indie rock bands that will be totally passe by the time you get around to listening to them; you'll miss the fun, of course, because you have a real job and have to get shit done.
Well good news, Responsible Johnny! You can have yourself a wild time in Austin, too --Jimmy Buffett is returning to the Live Music Capital of the Universe on May 31, to fill Austin 360 Ampitheater with people who had totally decadent, hilariously inebriated, South by Southwest-like good times 35 years ago.
Sure, they might be years past their strongest party days, but few self-respecting Parrotheads are going to let middle age keep them from finding that lost shaker of salt, let alone the bottom of one of those neon plastic margarita bong-looking things. "But Jimmy Buffett's so lame!" you might say. "My friends are gonna do a bunch of drugs and see all the bands I read about when I'm supposed to be looking at spreadsheets! They're going to come back with that SPECIAL INDIE ROCK GLOW! All I'll have are just doodles I made in team meetings!"
Well you know what? Start doodling parrots, palm trees, and moms in sensible swimwear. It's likely true that your buds are going to be able to brag about seeing next-big-thing acts like Dave Grohl and Blondie, but what they don't know is that heading down to Austin for a nice weekend in May and watching Jimmy Buffett with a bunch of old burnouts, silverbacked Lake Dads, and divorcees who were way hot in 1977 is a million times more indie than standing three hours to squeeze into the Fader Fort because Neutral Milk Hotel is supposed to play that one song people claim is amazing.
Moreover, Jimmy Buffett and his catalog up to Son of a Son of a Sailor is actually really good, though you'd never know it for all the hate spewed about his music from under all those hipster mustaches -- mustaches that would make their own grandmothers cry to look half as awesome as the one Jimmy sports on the cover of Havana Daydreamin'.
Sure, there's probably zero cultural cachet to be gained from putting on a Hawaiian shirt and drinking Coronaritas with your friends' grizzled parents, but it's way more fun than trying to get into Stubb's because Metallica is sitting in with Haim. Everyone you know is going to SxSW, but you can be the only one with an amazing story about changing your attitude by changing your latitude -- about Jimmy Buffett. They might be cool, but you'll actually just have fun.