Audio By Carbonatix
A musician’s heaven can quickly turn into a musician’s hell.
If you need a new set of guitar strings or drumsticks, just head to
that shining beacon of sundry rock and roll knick-knacks known as
Guitar Center. It’s a place
where almost any piece of musical equipment can be found, but classic rock
riffs are routinely done irreparable damage.
If you’ve ever made it out of this place without permanent hearing damage, you know how it goes.
Upon arrival, you’ll be put in a blissful state by the oasis of audio
equipment. The guitars and amplifiers that line the walls will beckon
to you, “Please, come play with me!”
You’ll walk over, pick up a
telecaster and try to think of a riff that will not only test the
functionality of the guitar, but will also impress everyone in the
store. It’s inevitable. Much to the chagrin of the Guitar Center employees, you will play one of the following songs.
So, with that, we present you with the top 10 most annoying songs you’ll
regularly hear played at Guitar Center (not counting the already ubiquitous “Stairway to Heaven”). Check the list out after the
jump.
10. “Cannonball” – The Breeders
This
one is bass guitar specific. Lucky for bass players, though, Guitar
Center has an entire room devoted to the low end. So you can slappa da
bass all you want, but is there really any better way to test out a bass
guitar than by playing “Cannonball?”
9. Anything by Nirvana
Right
now, as you read this, someone, somewhere is in a Guitar Center playing
something by Nirvana. That’s not fair though, because the same could be
said of every song on the list. Read on!
8. “Say It Ain’t So” – Weezer
How
did this song go from being so cool in Junior High to becoming so
brutally annoying nowadays? I guess we can ask the same question about
the band who wrote it.
7. “Sweet Home Alabama” – Lynyrd Skynyrd
This
one sounds best when played on the guitar painted like the rebel flag.
Also, chances are the guy playing this has not sleeves on his shirt.
6. Anything by Metallica
Too
many Metallica riffs to list. If you’re in a somber mood go with
“Unforgiven,” but if you’re ready to “rock out” go with “Enter Sandman.”
Either way, you’ll be annoying the crap out of everyone around you.
5. “Sweet Child Of Mine” – Guns & Roses
Funny
thing about this song–nobody in the history of Guitar Center jamming
has ever made it all the way through intro riff. It’s like an unbeatable
feat of guitar strength. That certainly won’t stop people from fumbling
through it, though.
4. Back In Black” – AC/DC
If
you ever get a chance to see AC/DC in concert, “Back In Black” will
rock your pants off (as it has already done to Angus Young). It’s an
entirely different story, however, at Guitar Center.
3. “Iron Man” – Black Sabbath
It’s
probably the first song a guitar player ever learns how to play. And
apparently, it is perfected in the main room of Guitar Center.
2. “Seven Nation Army” – White Stripes
When
you go to Guitar Center and you bring some friends who have never
touched a guitar before, this is the song that those friends play.
1. “Smoke On The Water” – Deep Purple
Guitar
Center employees can’t even hear this one any more. Seriously, when
those 12 notes are played in succession, Guitar Center people
automatically replace it with cats purring.
