OK, we know all of you out there in newspaper-reading land (you know, the three of you who prefer the printed word to rapidly blogged scuttlebutt) depend on us to provide the most accurate information as possible. But hey, music writers are 1) lazy and 2) often drunk, so mistakes happen. In the spirit of setting the record straight on some of our more blatant screw-ups, we present:

The Dallas Observer Music Section's Corrections, Retractions and Omissions

Lou Reed and John Cale are the founders of the Velvet Underground, not the two bald dudes from Right Said Fred ("I'm Waiting for My Shirt," January 11).

In a recent profile of Romanian acid fusion no-wave folksinger Juhus Targu ("Who Wants Targu? We Do! We Do!" February 22), it was erroneously reported that Mr. Targu was an "anemic Transylvanian." He is, in actuality, a "bulimic transvestite."

The theme song to The Facts of Life was written by Alan Thicke, not Robin Thicke ("In the Thicke of It," August 10, 2006).

Local rapper Boney Knuckles was arrested and charged with "public nudity" and "sexual endangerment of a domesticated animal," not, as was reported, "second-degree manslaughter" ("Knuckle Shuffle," November 17, 2006).

Syphilis is not a mutated strain of the rockin' pneumonia ("I Second That Inflammation," July 13, 2006).

Was (Not Was) released the 1987 smash hit "Walk the Dinosaur," not Lady Blacksmith Mambazo ("Ah Um Ooh Bah," May 5, 2005).

Statistical findings attributed to the Cleveland Institute of Music ("Keep Music in Our Schools and Hearts," June 15, 2006) were nothing more than random sequences of numbers scribbled in crayon on a soiled paper bag found underneath a Long John Silvers dumpster.

Jimi Hendrix ("This Kid Can Jam!" February 15, 1968) played the electric guitar, not the jaw harp.

It was previously reported that "Grease" was not the word ("Groove? Meaning? Really?" September 8, 2005). Turns out it's not only the word, it's also the time, the place, the notion and the way we are feeling as well.

In the February 8 review of Climb High the Never Mountain, the debut EP from Black March Brigade, what was described as "a swirling cacophony of crunchy guitars and orchestral spasms" was in fact "a crunchy cacophony of orchestral guitars and crunchy spasms." Doesn't that make a lot more sense?

Rikki Rocket was not the drummer for Led Zeppelin ("Lick It There," January 4).

In an upcoming 12-part series that will chronicle the creation and evolution of resophonic guitars ("That There's Shiny!," July 19), it will be incorrectly stated that the Dopyera brothers founded the Dobro Manufacturing Company in 1927 when it was actually founded in 1928. We know this, we have plenty of time to fix it and we're gonna run it wrong anyway.

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Geoff Johnston

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