Street Beat comb-over competition

There is nothing new under the sun, as God once dictated to somebody; no one knows this better than the hapless members of the Publicist Tribe who must call up those who serve as amanuensis to their respective Local (and even more frighteningly, National) Band Hells and tell them things like "On this album Helloween really rocks" or "With this release Kenny Loggins truly re-establishes himself as a balladeer of the first order." Small wonder that even those who serve the Beast find themselves in their underwear drinking vodka out of a Flintstones jelly jar at 1:40 on a Tuesday afternoon, watching Nickelodeon, and thinking, "Just how the hell am I gonna pitch this?" The answer is, of course, the comb--the hair-styling tool, not the rooster's sexual signifier. When not one, but two albums crossed Street Beat's desk that featured risible slogan-bearing combs, it was as if they bore fighting spurs stapled to their jewel cases: Who could resist pitting one against the other? The contestants are:

Phono-Comb Fresh Gasoline
Qarterstick Records

Comb characteristics?
5-inch, green

Comb slogan?
"A New Era in Earstyling"

Musical assessment?
Pretty much what you'd expect from a band with several members of Shadowy Men From A Shadowy Planet; moody, sinister, and surfy instrumentals.

Do band members use product touting them?
Most assuredly

World Renowned The RipTones
Ruby Records

Comb characteristics?
5-inch, red

Comb slogan?
"Don't Touch My Hair"

Musical assessment?
Standard-issue neorockability with hepcat jump; well done original tunes; thing Big Sandy and His Fly-Rite Boys with a dash of the Stray Cats thrown in.

Do band members use product touting them?
Most assuredly

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