^
Keep Dallas Observer Free
4

The Five Worst and Five Most Underrated Van Halen Songs

Seeing that Van Halen somehow managed to NOT cancel their show tonight at American Airlines Center, I decided to go through the band's catalogue and come up with a couple of lists. First comes the bad, and then comes the diamonds in the poo-poo.

The Five Worst Van Halen Songs

1. "Hot for Teacher" Van Halen always catered to the lowest common denominator of middle school boys, but this song always struck me as particularly stupid. Plus, it could have inspired Mary Kay Letourneau.

2. "Eruption" If I only had a dollar for every band dude who has told me, "You've got to hear our guitarist. He can almost play 'Eruption'."

3. "Dancing in the Streets" Why do bands cover this song?

4. "Jump" The cool chorus was instantly made limp by the most simplistic synthesizer riff in the history of rock music.

5. Any song sung by Sammy Hagar or Gary Cherone

The Five Most Underrated Van Halen Songs

1. "Could This Be Magic?" Acoustic Van Halen? Sacrilege back in the day, but this song from Women and Children First holds up just fine today.

2. "Sunday Afternoon in the Park" From Fair Warning. Eddie goes progressive rock and it kind of, sort of works. A dark precursor of things to come and there's not a single Diamond Dave yelp to be heard.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

3. "Light up the Sky" One of the highlights of the disappointing Van Halen II. I could be wrong, but this song actually shows, God help me, a little restraint.

4. "I'll Wait" This new wave ditty from 1984 would have made a great outtake from Soft Cell.

5. "House of Pain" The final cut from 1984 showed the band could still rock. The (at the time) last shout from David Lee Roth and, for me, the end of Van Halen.

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.

 

Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.