| Sports |

Boo. Who?

Richie doesn't believe Dwyane Wade's injury is real, but he does believe Minnie Mouse is a highly undervalued hottie.
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Ah-ha! Turns out karma is indeed a bitch. And, apparently, part German.

Less than 24 hours before Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade was to show his mug in Dallas to face Dirk Nowitzki and a frenzied crowd sure to be jacked up by this nasty column, Dwayne Drama pulled an all-timer last night in Houston. Early in the fourth quarter of Miami's 10-point loss, Wade seemingly hyper-extended his left shoulder and then certainly overreacted and eventually milked the injury into epic Saturday Night Live parody proportions. After going to the bench for treatment Wade produced the facial expressions of a man having his scrotum branded with a scalding iron before leaving the court -- I shit you not -- in a wheelchair. Yep, chickens can run around with their heads cut off, and paralyzed dudes can push their way through marathons, but somehow a sprained, perhaps dislocated, shoulder caused Dwyane Drama's legs to go limp.

The good news: Wade made my prediction of yet another faux catastrophic injury come true. The bad news: He apparently took an ambulance ride to a Houston hospital and didn't accompany the Heat on their flight to Dallas last night. Which, knowing his Rocky-esque history, makes him probable for tonight's showdown. Some in this town think Wade's criticism of Dirk was spot on. Others, like me, will just be pissed if Dwyane isn't at American Airlines Center tonight for 48 minutes of venom that will make his shoulder ouchie feel like mosquito bite. Whined Heat coach Pat Riley about the possible legitimacy of Wade's latest fall-down-go-boom, "Things haven't gone our way from the get-go." Toldja Dwyane shoulda shut up. --Richie Whitt

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