No devil in Mr. Fisher
Buzz was mesmerized by Neo-Democrat Richard Fisher's recent Viewpoint column in The Dallas Morning News: "Why I won't run against Phil Gramm for Senate seat."

Fisher assures us that the Democrats think he's swell: "The president's chief political strategist, Dick Morris, called to tell me, 'You have done something rare in American politics; you achieved widespread name recognition without accumulating any negatives.'" Buzz was heartened to learn that "loser" is no longer a negative in American politics.

What Fisher's analysis left out, presumably due to his avowed naivet, is that his family fortune will always put him on the short list of Democratic sacrificial lambs in doomed races against the likes of Gramm.

The charisma-impaired Fisher, who you'll remember was buried in his 1994 run against Kay Bailey Hutchison, explains his unique concept of political gutlessness this way: "I am uncomfortable with attack politics...the only way to effectively battle with Mr. Gramm is to yield to expediency and accept a Faustian bargain."

We're on pins and needles anticipating more of Fisher's fire-in-the-belly musings in his forthcoming book: Why I Won't Run for Dog Catcher!

How about an Hour without violence?
From Sunday, October 15 to October 21, Dallas joined together for "A Week Without Violence." Vigils and rallies on non-violent themes commemorated each day. Sponsors, including the YWCA and The Family Place, distributed materials noting: " days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes or 604,800 seconds without violence in Dallas County."

We'll still have to imagine it, because, carnage-wise, the Week Without Violence was a flop.

According to Dallas Police Department records, during the Week Without Violence, eight people were murdered, 14 raped, 135 robbed, and there were 209 aggravated assault incidents. That was ahead of the citywide weekly violent crime average (from 1994 stats) of six murders, 18.5 rapes, 136 robberies, and 165 aggravated assaults.

How do you say 'Danke schsn' in monkey?
Haven't the snow monkeys of Dilley, Texas, suffered enough? First they're torn from their home in the mountains of Japan and dragged to sweltering Texas, then they're subjected to primate research, then they're suddenly abandoned--only to have state and federal game wardens declare open season on them. Now, in a final indignity, Wayne Newton is going to serenade them.

Well, not exactly. The chubby, gigolo-moustached Vegas act will croon to slightly higher primates in nearby San Antonio at a monkey benefit concert early next year.

Pray for hunters, monkeys.

Buzz us at 757-8439 or via fax at 757-8593. Or mail us at observermcimail.docm or P.O. Box 190289, Dallas, 75219.

--Glen Warchol

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Glen Warchol