If Your Conscience and the Drought Won't Stop You From Watering, Dallas Will Irritate You Into Submission

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Please. Put away your hose, uproot your automatic sprinkler system, and watch sadly as your patch of St. Augustine scorches and shrivels until it's a dusty brown wasteland, because it's better than the alternative.

Dallas Water Utilities and the Tarrant Regional Water District announced this morning that they are bringing back the "Lawn Whisperer" campaign to remind you to conserve the region's finite water supply by watering only when necessary, twice a week max.

The campaign worked last year. Says this morning's press release: "The 'Lawn Whisperer' campaign demonstrated a significantly strong message recall by respondents."

No shit. When you produce something as irritating as the lawn whisperer, of course it'll be memorable.

I'm think there's still time to head this off. Don't stop with the lawn. No more showering for me. And tap water's out. Only imported beer from here forward. And remember: Yellow is mellow, brown stays around, okay? This is going to take a concerted effort.

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.