If Your Conscience and the Drought Won't Stop You From Watering, Dallas Will Irritate You Into Submission

Please. Put away your hose, uproot your automatic sprinkler system, and watch sadly as your patch of St. Augustine scorches and shrivels until it's a dusty brown wasteland, because it's better than the alternative.

Dallas Water Utilities and the Tarrant Regional Water District announced this morning that they are bringing back the "Lawn Whisperer" campaign to remind you to conserve the region's finite water supply by watering only when necessary, twice a week max.

The campaign worked last year. Says this morning's press release: "The 'Lawn Whisperer' campaign demonstrated a significantly strong message recall by respondents."

No shit. When you produce something as irritating as the lawn whisperer, of course it'll be memorable.

I'm think there's still time to head this off. Don't stop with the lawn. No more showering for me. And tap water's out. Only imported beer from here forward. And remember: Yellow is mellow, brown stays around, okay? This is going to take a concerted effort.

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