Kimberly-Clark Wants You to Know: There May Be Metal, Excessive Bacteria in Your Tampons

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There are times when I'm particularly grateful I'm not a woman. Watching my wife give birth is one. Reading a consumer advisory about tainted tampons is another.

Kimberly-Clark, the Dallas-based personal hygiene conglomerate, sent word yesterday that it is recalling large quantities of Kotex Natural Balance Tampons. Why, you ask? Oh, just that the raw materials used to make them may have been imperfect. And because they just might have unhealthy levels of bacteria and contain "metallic particles" that post a threat to public health.

The tainted tampons, the company says, were slated to be destroyed sometime between October 2011 and June 2012. Someone stole them instead and distributed them fraudulently through unknown channels.

The FDA's criminal division is investigating the thefts. Until then, Kimberly-Clark recommends you to immediately stop using the tampons in question, a list of which you can find here. Unless, of course, you like metal-studded, bacteria-laden feminine hygiene products.

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