Sports

Peeling Back the Layers

So, we've received, like, a dozen e-mails at Unfair Park informing us it's time to "get over" the Dallas Cowboys' loss to the Seattle Seahawks Saturday night. They wonder why we can't just move on and write about how the Dallas Mavericks are the most awesomest team since the Chicago Bulls went 82-0 or about how the Dallas Stars are, uh, a professional hockey team. To which Unfair Park responds: Whadya want for free?

On that note, here are two must-read stories that come to us today from that well-known sports authority, The Onion. Reads one headline, "Bill Parcells: 'I've Always Hated Football.'" Reads the other, "Tony Romo Regrets Eating Greasy Fried Chicken During Crucial Field-Goal Attempt." We're pretty sure the Romo item's a joke (and just an OK one at that), but the Parcells item, we're not so sure it's a work of fiction. Take this quote, for instance:

"When did I ever look like I was enjoying myself? When did you last see me smile on the sidelines or in the locker room? You must have at least wondered why I was always so angry with everyone around me."

"I'll tell you why—I was goddamn miserable," Parcells added. "Football sucks."

Yeah, that's gotta be real. --Robert Wilonsky

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Robert Wilonsky
Contact: Robert Wilonsky