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Lots of speculation on the mysterious absence of Greg Williams, one half of The Ticket's "Hardline," the most popular sports talk radio show in town. Seems ol' Hammer has been absent since last Wednesday. His partner, Mike Rhyner, has been extremely vague about the void on the air, and the rumors are flying. Suspended? Vicodin addiction relapse? Dead? Kidnapped by Robot Greggo? Sneaker actually imbedded in his cheek? Try none of the above. Swapped e-mails with Hammer today and can reveal the following about his disappearance: He's alive. He's not fired. He's not in drug rehab. He doesn't fear Muslim retaliation for last week's very un-P.C. rampage. He recently underwent a medical procedure, and you can expect him to come clean in detail when he returns to work in mid-March. "I'm hanging in there," Williams said when reached by phone Thursday afternoon. "I am still alive. I feel like I'll be at work in the coming weeks. Looks like, as I had to do this time last year, I will have to go on and tell another story." We can't wait to hear it. --Richie Whitt