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‘I’m Going To Use My 5 Minutes, But Not to Ask Questions’: The Louie Gohmert Story

There's a chance, if someone isn't from Texas and doesn't watch much cable news, that he or she blessedly hasn't had much exposure to East Texas' U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert. For those babes in the proverbial woods, seeing Gohmert on TV in all his reddening glory must come with a lot of questions: "Why is this man yelling?" "What the hell is he talking about?" and "Did I accidentally DVR Saturday Night Live?"

While the answer to No. 3 is no — Gohmert is all too real, unfortunately — the answer to No. 1 probably has something to do with Gohmert's genetics. Just what Gohmert was talking about Monday, as he went to bat for President Donald Trump, is a slipperier thing to grasp.

"I'm going to use my five minutes, but not to ask questions," Gohmert said, providing an auspicious beginning to his time at the mic during Monday's hearing.

Gohmert did a bit of whataboutism with regard to criticisms that President Trump is acting like a king:

"It's ... outrageous to hear people say 'Well, this man thought he was a king because he said he could do anything he wanted,' when they know that statement was in the context of whether or not he could fire (special counsel Robert) Mueller, and, of course, he could fire Mueller," Gohmert said. "Let me tell you what a king is. A king is someone who says over 20 times, 'I can't do that, Congress has to change the law on immigration,' and then he decides, 'I got a pen, I got a phone, I'll do whatever I want' and, by golly, he does. He makes new law with a pen and a phone. Now that is more like a monarchy."

A little like building bits and pieces of wall on the border without congressional approval, too, but we digress. (It should also be noted that whether Trump could've fired Mueller is very much in dispute.)

Then came a lengthy tangent about treason, something no one involved with the impeachment inquiry is being accused of.

"Regarding treason, the Constitution itself says, 'you gotta have two witnesses,' and that's not hearsay witnesses, none of this stuff that wouldn't be admissible in any decent court. That's two direct evidence witnesses that can come in and positively identified themselves, not something they overheard or something, but actually be witnesses to treason," Gohmert said. "They toss treason out in a report like it's no big deal. 'We can bring in a bunch of hearsay witness, and we'll have the lawyers testify and throw a president out of office.’"

An impeachment inquiry is not a court proceeding, and, again, no one is accusing President Trump of treason.

With his five minutes almost up, Gohmert offered a warning about the fate of Democratic presidents, should they be in office at the same time Republicans control the U.S. House in the future.

"This isn't about being fair. It's not about due process. This is about a kangaroo system," Gohmert said. "Let me tell ya, those that think you've done something special here. You have set the bar so low. I’m afraid it’s irreparable. Just think, people already mention the next president, Joe Biden. We’re told, 'Gee, he may be the next president.’ We’ve already got the forms, all we have to do is eliminate Donald Trump’s name and put Joe Biden’s name in there ’cause he’s on video, he and his son. He basically has admitted to the crime that’s being hoisted on the president improperly."

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