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Wading Into Humor

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Two days into Dallas Cowboys training camp down the street from the Alamo, and it’s clear that new coach Wade Phillips is folksy and boring and folksy and country and folksy and really, really close to being human NyQuil. Oh, yeah, and, if you pay attention long enough, he's kind of funny. That’s right, funny.

After this morning’s practice, ol’ Wade was mumbling something about his team being in great shape, and just when were all about to nod off, he Tasered us with, “We have a player who, for the first time in five years, wasn’t fined for showing up to camp overweight.” The logical guess: Flozell Adams? “I’m not naming names,” Wade said. “But I can tell you it wasn’t the head coach.” Small giggle. “Because if Bill wasn’t fined for that, I’m sure not going to be.” Giant guffaw!

And then Phillips actually ended on a high. Told that defensive coordinator Brian Stewart said the Cowboys’ defense had the talent and potential to be the best in the NFL this season, Wade deadpanned, “I don’t believe he said that.” Told there were multiple audio and video recordings of Stewart’s bold claim, Phillips pondered his dilemma before adding, “Well, if he did, he shouldn’t have.” Thank you, good night. He’ll be here all season.

In related news, the Cowboys signed top draft pick Anthony Spencer today, and Terrell Owens promises “to be more focused, to have better concentration” than last year. In totally unrelated news, this has to be the worst Web site ever. --Richie Whitt

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