How 'Bout Them Knockers: Venezia Italian Cafe

Venezia Italian Cafe (972) 889-8559
908 Audelia Rd Ste 500
Richardson, TX 75081

Promised time: 30-40 minutes
Delivery time: 32 minutes

The Score:
Beauty: 21
Evening Wear: 15
Talent: 25
X Factor: 10
Total: 71

I heard from a Richardsonian that Venezia Italian Cafe has scrumptious offerings of the pork and squid varieties. And because I'd rather spend my money on food than on gas, I called up Venezia to ask if they deliver (I searched World Wide Web first, but they have no site).

The dude on the phone was more than happy to take my delivery order. But because they have no Web site, I had no menu. So, I winged it. I ordered stuffed mushrooms and calamari for appetizers and the Lobster Ravioli (which had been talked up highly) and Rigatoni Arrabiata for entrees.

Although the guy I spoke with on the phone was very nice, he seemed super-distracted while we were talking. And I guess I must've been distracted, too, because only after I hung up the phone did I realize he hadn't told me how much I owed. Which meant I also hadn't given him my credit card digits. Which meant my hungry mind started wondering if he was even a real order-taker-person or if he was just pretending to take my order. What if he was just playing around and nobody was on their way in 30-40 minutes with my fried and sauced Italian food love? What if it was all a LIE?

Waiting for my food to be delivered from Venezia was the longest wait of my life. In normal people time, it was only 32 minutes (just like they'd said it would be). But in eyeballs-popping-out-Large-Marge-crazy hungry people time, it was one million forevers.

When the food showed, I was so excited about it that you're lucky that I got a photo of it at all. I know, it's a piece of shit photo. It was taken by a crazy person who may or may not have ripped the arm off a delivery guy (whatever, I traded him the arm for an awesome 20 percent tip).

After I took the pic, I dropped the phone on the floor and it's now broken and refuses to upload its pictures onto anything so I ended up just taking a picture of the picture with my Flinstonian camera. What the photo lacks in composition and focus, it makes up for in a ridiculous amount of food for one person. Jealous?

I admit I was sad to see that the stuffed mushrooms were so tiny. They were bland and I'm pretty sure they were just stuffed with breading. Wouldn't recommend them. The calamari was delicious, but a little soggy.

Probably a direct result of a 30-minute delivery. Didn't stop me. I squeezed lemon juice on 'em and went on chompin'. The highly recommended lobster ravioli was "just aiiight for me." It was just cheese ravioli with a pile of lobster meat on top and smothered in pink sauce. I liked it, but give it a thumbs middle. How was the Arrabiata? So glad you asked. The Rigatoni Arrabiata with Spicy Marinara sauce was by far the best thing I ordered. Sooo freaking tasty. I used the two loaves of bread that came with my order to sop up that sauce. If you order from Venezia, order the Arrabiata without hesitation and pay them whatever they ask. It's yum in your face.

In addition to all this food, three side salads (just Romaine lettuce with a side of Russiany dressing) also came with my order. I didn't eat them because a) my second stomach was already full and b) salads are for pussies.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade