Like a brawny, gay version of breastaurants, Tallywackers will open in Dallas' Oak Lawn neighborhood soon, flaunting scantily clad dudes who have obviously been spending more time at Crossfit than you have.
There's been some effort to brand this class of restaurants. Eater went with Dickstaurant, but I'm having a hard time thinking people will take to food marketed with genitals.
The Dallas Morning News, wisely looking above the belt for ammunition, went for the family-friendly "chestaurant," but that's too gender-ambiguous. We already have those.
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Which is why I'm proposing "pecstaurant." Right? Someone is likely filing the trademark now: Pecs, a cowboy-themed gay bar that serves hot dogs and bar food. The mascot is a topless neon cowboy with a flickering six-pack.
Tallywackers is slated to open in May, and will aim to be an all-inclusive restaurant. That is, women and men will be encouraged to ogle, making the restaurant sound dangerously similar to O' Nutters, which features plenty of gratuitous gym sock. If the Inside Amy Schumer skit offers even a tiny window into Lemmon Avenue's future, things could really get awkward for folks who don't like dining with some dude's package in their line of sight.