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The Worst Fast Food Trends of 2013

At this point, nobody's surprised. It's an uncomplicated idea in the year of 2013 d.t. (doritus tacous): every month, or bi-weekly in some quick food places, a fast food restaurant will release an arm-bracingly intense challenge food, an Inceptiony food inside a food, or a Frankenstenian other food jacked into a new food.

It's Occam's razor, really: will a fast food organization actually release that food monstrosity you made a joke about with your friends months ago? The answer comes back clear as day-old mayonnaise on paper: oh, totally. Five years ago, a Doritos chip flavored like Taco Bell would have sounded like an Onion story. So, here we stand in 2013, a time you might call Double-Down Day Plus 1095 (Has it really been three years since KFC's fried chicken-bunned Double Down?).

Last year had some deep fried winners. 2013 was special, though. It was the year we extrapolated on the night-black burger bun, put Sriracha on everything that moved, and physically dropped tacos from helicopters. Among the trends, these were the fast food anomalies that were the most egregious.

See also: The Worst Fast Food Trends of 2012

Ramen as a Bun When the ramen-bunned burger launched in Los Angeles, there was a four-hour line. Four hours. That's 45 minutes longer than the director's cut of Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, two hours longer than hitting yourself with a hammer for two hours, and 3 hours and 50 minutes longer than sautéing your own brain until it's tender and not stupid.

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Nick Rallo
Contact: Nick Rallo