Listomania: Top 10 Most Annoying Songs Heard Regularly at Guitar Center (Not Counting “Stairway to Heaven,” Duh)

A musician’s heaven can quickly turn into a musician’s hell.

If you need a new set of guitar strings or drumsticks, just head to that shining beacon of sundry rock and roll knick-knacks known as Guitar Center. It’s a place where almost any piece of musical equipment can be found, but classic rock riffs are routinely done irreparable damage.

If you’ve ever made it out of this place without permanent hearing damage, you know how it goes.

Upon arrival, you’ll be put in a blissful state by the oasis of audio equipment. The guitars and amplifiers that line the walls will beckon to you, “Please, come play with me!”

You’ll walk over, pick up a telecaster and try to think of a riff that will not only test the functionality of the guitar, but will also impress everyone in the store. It’s inevitable. Much to the chagrin of the Guitar Center employees, you will play one of the following songs.

So, with that, we present you with the top 10 most annoying songs you’ll regularly hear played at Guitar Center (not counting the already ubiquitous “Stairway to Heaven”). Check the list out after the jump.

10. “Cannonball” – The Breeders
This one is bass guitar specific. Lucky for bass players, though, Guitar Center has an entire room devoted to the low end. So you can slappa da bass all you want, but is there really any better way to test out a bass guitar than by playing “Cannonball?”

9. Anything by Nirvana
Right now, as you read this, someone, somewhere is in a Guitar Center playing something by Nirvana. That’s not fair though, because the same could be said of every song on the list. Read on!

8. “Say It Ain’t So” – Weezer
How did this song go from being so cool in Junior High to becoming so brutally annoying nowadays? I guess we can ask the same question about the band who wrote it.
 
7. “Sweet Home Alabama” – Lynyrd Skynyrd
This one sounds best when played on the guitar painted like the rebel flag. Also, chances are the guy playing this has not sleeves on his shirt.

6. Anything by Metallica
Too many Metallica riffs to list. If you’re in a somber mood go with “Unforgiven,” but if you’re ready to “rock out” go with “Enter Sandman.” Either way, you’ll be annoying the crap out of everyone around you.
5. “Sweet Child Of Mine” – Guns & Roses
Funny thing about this song–nobody in the history of Guitar Center jamming has ever made it all the way through intro riff. It’s like an unbeatable feat of guitar strength. That certainly won’t stop people from fumbling through it, though.

4. Back In Black” – AC/DC
If you ever get a chance to see AC/DC in concert, “Back In Black” will rock your pants off (as it has already done to Angus Young). It’s an entirely different story, however, at Guitar Center.

3. “Iron Man” – Black Sabbath
It’s probably the first song a guitar player ever learns how to play. And apparently, it is perfected in the main room of Guitar Center.

2. “Seven Nation Army” – White Stripes
When you go to Guitar Center and you bring some friends who have never touched a guitar before, this is the song that those friends play.

1. “Smoke On The Water” – Deep Purple
Guitar Center employees can’t even hear this one any more. Seriously, when those 12 notes are played in succession, Guitar Center people automatically replace it with cats purring.