Miracle Guile: Rick Perry Has an Odd Way of Measuring Success

Promised land: Buzz spent the past couple of days sorting through data comparing the Lone Star State's economy with other states', a task also being undertaken by about 900,000 media types — damn libtards, all — trying to find evidence that presidential candidate Rick Perry's bragging about our state's economic miracle is just that same West Texas bullshit that America is so used to.

There's tons of anti-miracle stuff out there, from any number of sources: Texas is dead last among states in percentage of population with health insurance; ranked eighth in percentage of population living below the poverty level; tied with Mississippi for the percentage of hourly workers earning the minimum wage or less; 27th in median household income (though we're near the top in state gross domestic product); 29th in average public teachers' salaries; near the bottom in high school completion rates; near the top in teen pregnancies; and worst in the nation in pollution.

Oh, and we're pretty fat, too.

As miracles go, the fact that Texas has been tops in job-creation during the recession — although we're still 26th in unemployment — seems more like one of those Jesus'-face-on-grilled-cheese kind of miracles than a real God-sent event, like, say, the parting of the Red Sea or the canceling of Kate Plus 8. It's the sort of miracle that makes a proud Texan want to drop to his knees and thank the Lord for creating Mississippi, Alabama and West Virginia and for making us look good.

Not that any of this matters. The electoral process is so divorced from reality (see Bachmann, Michelle) that things like facts and quality of life just don't signify. What has Perry really accomplished in 10-plus years in office? Who cares? Great hair. Great smile. Looks so damn presidential. How much worse could it get? (See above.)

Besides, people with no jobs aren't inclined to look down at a place that offers some jobs, even if the pay is lousy. If you're looking for work at Walmart, it might as well be in a state that's hiring and doesn't have an income tax. To many of those people whom Buzz left behind in the Rust Belt, Texas still shimmers — not exactly with hope, but a shot. This may not be the land of milk and honey, but at least you might be able to afford a six-pack and a burger. (Extra mayo and large fries, please.) In a time of relentless political division and reduced expectations, Perry may well be the perfect icon of the age.

 
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roy
roy

perry sure has a way of twisting the truth.Like he is totally responsible for and Texas success.What a bunch of baloney this guy is trying to feed all.He carries more baggage then any airline on any given day.The truth will come out,it always does.Sad we can't get rid of him while he's looking for other work on our dime.His pay should be suspended.

MGTRRZ
MGTRRZ

Rick Perry Doesn't Believe in Global Warming - he just believes in 'PORN'!!!

psyrn
psyrn

Hey Pat,Sounds like you don't like a whole helluva lot about our state, so why don't you pack your opinions and sugar-coated vitriol and get the hell out!

MGTRRZ
MGTRRZ

Because WE 'Don't Have To'- you Perry 'SUCK-UP'. We're Just as Entitled to Our Opinion of (P)Rick Perry as You Are to Your's!

Marilyn Fontaine
Marilyn Fontaine

may I make one last suggestion,If you don't like Texas, keep your happy asses up north, If you are gonna bitch about Texas or, Rick Perry and anything else, go home, we welcomed you here but you don't have to stay.it won't hurt our feelings at all.

Marilyn Fontaine
Marilyn Fontaine

From a lifelong Texan, who has had the PRIVILEGE of being able to pick and choose the job that is right for me, I have had an average of 2 interviews a week and been offered positions at every stinking one,I have my last innterview tomorrow for MY job. I can tell you that we DO HAVE JOBS here and lots of them, and they are not min.wage jobs, if you are qualified for a better job and can get thru an interview without looking like a serial killer or something, you can find a good job. And regardless of how hard you try to blow off the success of Texas, please explain why we continually have an influx of yankees (northerners) coming down here to get a job. Check out Careerbuilder, Monster, Texas Workforce and see what jobs are here. And regardless who gets the credit, the fact is that Perry, The Texas Legislature and the Texas people are definitely doing something right whether you want to admit it or not. . So rage on, you cannot argue with the numbers/facts!

MGTRRZ
MGTRRZ

Are You 'Making Up those so-called FACTS and Numbers' like FOX News does-or Just Twisting them to suit Your Imagination??? Hey-You Could Get A Job as a 'Wind-Turbine'Cause you sure are Full of IT!!!

roy
roy

tricky rick is sicken to watch taking credit where credit isn't due and on top of that seeing those people up north and east believe he is telling the truth.I wish more people would fact check before they fall for a liar.

whitman1
whitman1

Does he see black helicopters trying to take us over?

Danielle Latta
Danielle Latta

MutualMind, a Dallas-based social media monitoring company just published the results of Rick Perry's social media buzz since his announcement last week. I wonder how he'd make these results sound successful?The Online Buzz on Rick Perry: Data / Infographic http://t.co/JT5ffQQ

roy
roy

opps,not to mention the state of Texas tax payers paying for those that guard perry on his quest for self improvement and their travel expenses.

roy
roy

I just pitty the poor perry and family having to stay in that lousy 10k a month mansion while the Texas mansion is being repaired.Also the poor thing making a mere 150k a year and having to travel the country fishing...for votes while the state tax payers now pay Lt.Governor dewherst his 150k salary while tricky rick is away.sad ain't it.

BC
BC

Penn--You mean unlike all of the homespun common sense of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and The President?? WOW. What a stupid comment.

The Genius
The Genius

funny, nobody ever seemed to question obama's successes prior to the election.....and still can't. the measure of success with a governor is actually measured by his failures- so perry did quite well as Texas never really seems to taste the economic disasters that other states experience. for such a populous state- that's a success.

Simon James
Simon James

Will Perry and his cronies be able to stand the glare of the National spotlight, or will they all end up on trial?????

BC
BC

Somehow low paying jobs are catagorized as worse than people sucking money from the Government. That's how bad this entitlement mentality has become.

Montemalone
Montemalone

Families with minimum wage incomes depend a great deal on public services to survive, as they usually aren't provided health insurance. They also don't have great retirement plans. They also can't save for education for the kids. They often qualify for and accept food stamps, housing assistance, and other "entitlements".

Penn
Penn

The GOP is desperate indeed. All 2012 hopefuls lack common sense.

The Genius
The Genius

common sense tells us the world is flat.

Joeblow
Joeblow

In a world where the common sense is that of fools, how much value does common sense really have?

terri odinn
terri odinn

Alright, using your elec cost figure and adding in the rest of the reality picture:I really thought an average American could figure this one out but here goes:

$7.25 per hour x 8 hours = 58.00-27% taxesabout 44 bucks

- 5.50 savings for electric ( using your figure)-20.00 savings for rent based on $600.00 per month- 7.00 gas ( i was being generous to Perry's nonsense before, now more realistic)- 1.25 savings for auto insurance based on no more than $37.50 per mo- 4.00 other meal- 1.50 phone based on $45.00 mo. max billTotal - $39.25 Which doesn't leave enough for said 6 pack of beer OR said burger based on *your* projected costs.This also doesn't allow for health insurance premium costs, any heath expenses whatsoever, no laundry expenses, no bath soap, not so much as a roll of TP was figured in before the claimed said affordable six pack and burger had become far from anything close to reality . Heaven forbid if theres a child somewhere in the picture to be factored in.

MGTRRZ
MGTRRZ

'BLOWHARD'- Maybe he's Hung around Palin a Little Too Much'-Twisting Things to suit his own Tall Texas Tales...He and Palin don't believe in 'FACTS'-they Manufacture Their Own...

Maogani Johnsonn
Maogani Johnsonn

odinn statement was an exaggeration, dumbbutt. He means you can barely survive on minimum wage jobs. There are no extras. Perry is going around boasting about jobs and the economy in Texas on national television is absurd. Food and utilities and rent are expensive.

terri odinn
terri odinn

Except a single person earning minimum wage couldn't afford that 6 pack and a burger.$7.25 per hr x 8 hours - 58.00- 27% taxesabout 44 bucks20 bucks for the above listed treat minus the fries.5 bucks in gas to get to and from work.. as long as they work very close to home.Walk to get said burger & six packForget the large friesHide the absurd elec bill. I lived in Tx, mine was usually as much as the rent on my apt. Pretend it doesn't exist.Start the day with breakfast or indulge in a brown bag lunch beyond said burger and six pack and.. .. .. .. .. Broke. Start over forgetting the burger and six pack because you actually can't afford it and save for that absurd elec bill

I left without a backward glance or single regret.

So much for a shimmer

 
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