Cold Beer Company Has a Burger Now, and It's the Beefiest Beef Punch of a Burger

What's that, Wagyu cow? You're delicious? Thanks.
What's that, Wagyu cow? You're delicious? Thanks.
Nick Rallo

One of the strangest bar menus in Dallas has to be at Cold Beer Company. Hot dogs are loaded up with brisket or mac 'n' cheese, and the tortilla and pita chips come with two salsas and a plastic cup of freshly mixed pimento cheese. They have a late-night peanut butter and jelly sandwich, kolaches, and oatmeal eskimos filled with Henry's vanilla ice cream. Much of it is local, as Food Critic Guy laid out, and the pimento cheese sandwich (with a side of homemade pickles) is Christopher-Nolan-good. It's an unpredictable food spot. Until recently, there was no burger on the menu.

It's a frigid Tuesday night, Christmas lights are twinkling, and the chalkboard near the entrance quietly announces: Burger Tuesdays now exist. No fries and no substitutions, says the sneaky chalkboard by the entrance. There's a single, double or jalapeño, bacon patty. OK, cool, so now Cold Beer Company has a burger -- and one of them is made of jalapeño and bacon. The waiter says to the Lady Friend and me that the grill is small, which is why they instituted the one-day-a-week burger idea. It's a cooking space issue.

Aw, thanks Cold Beer Company for zen raking my mayo!
Aw, thanks Cold Beer Company for zen raking my mayo!
Nick Rallo

The no substitutions, single burger comes with American cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion on the side, a cup of mayonnaise which looks like it is zen-raked, a pile of dill pickles and crunchy chips. All of these are stacked methodically on the Waygu beef patty (I like throwing a few chips on there), which has the beefiest beef punch of any beef burger I've had this year. The beef flavor on this thing is Jean Claude Van Damme in Bloodsport. Here's a visual representation of me taking a bite of this burger:

dallasobserver.com

Each bite puts you on a bucolic, far-stretching field, and you're munching on dandelions. A farmer hoses your butt gently. I am 43 percent cow now, actually, after eating the burger. There are few burgers as beefy for the price of $7.50. I want to climb a mountain and shout "BEEF!", my shirt ripping apart from flexing muscles, as the camera zooms out for miles. The bun is soft, which makes the jaw-smackingly raw red onion a worthy add-on. Throw some chips on there too, for the crunch.

All the ingredients are fresh. Big, crisp lettuce and a ripe tomato. I'd argue for some fries, but hey, this is Cold Beer Company, where your hot dogs have mac 'n' cheese, and the chips come with two salsas and pimento cheese. The burger's great and simple, and damn perfect with an ice cold beer.


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