Go to Town on This: TJ's Seafood & Chill
Holy crustaceans and swimmy-type things to eat, Batman.
TJ's Seafood is now offering a chilled seafood tower with an amazing name: Meet the Seafood & Chill.
For a mere $115, this stacks-on-stacks-on-stacks chilled seafood tower can be yours. Did I hear you say, "That sounds expensive"? Whatever. $115 is less than you paid for gas this year. It's only like 30 McDonald's quarter-pounder with cheese extra value meals. For $115, you can only get 23 Venti, skinny, no-whip Iced Caramel Macchiatos. If you tried to rent a yacht with $115, the yacht guy would laugh in your face. Like, directly into your face. $115 is not even close to like half of one respectable pair of Kate Spades. And Kate Spades don't come with mother-boning dipping sauce, last time I checked. $115 is perfectly reasonable for the three-stories high boatload of holy craps you are about to be served.
All the whoa.
If you don't want it, fine. If you do, BEHOLD THE AWESOME LIST OF THE TJ'S SEAFOOD & CHILL'S MANY OFFERINGS:
- Seven jumbo shrimp
- Jumbo lump crab cocktail
- Jumbo inability to see your tablemates through your platter
- Mega high fives
- Ahi tuna poke with plantain chips
- Steamed Maine lobster
- Implied opulence
- 8 premium East Coast oysters on half shell
- One loud slap in the face of The Joneses
- Eight littleneck clams
- Five side-eyes from jealous onlookers
- 12 Prince Edward Island mussels
- Four to six Instagram posts with the "100" emoji
- 45-minute dipping sauce orgy
- Optional makeout sesh with lobster face
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