Audio By Carbonatix
Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in—gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with occasional commentary from the Mexican. Enjoy!
If you’re half-Mexican and:
Half-African: Afrijoles
Half-black: black beans, blaxican, choco-taco, Negrexican
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Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America’s worst nightmare
Half-Canadian: Canexican
Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, combination plate, Mexinese, rice ‘n’ beans
Half-Cornish: Cornish tortilla
Half-Costa Rican: Mextica (tico is a nickname for Costa Ricans)
Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex
Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian
Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino
Half-Flemish: Fletino
Half-French: Frenchican
Half-gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, gabaxicano, Güerexican, mixican, whispanic, white bean
Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, wiener beaner
Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)
Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)
Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple salsa
Half-honky: Chichonky
Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry tamale
Half-Indian (the American kind): Navajole
Half-Irish: Leprecano, green bean, McBeaner
Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Spic-talian
Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese
Half-Jewish: jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew
Half-Korean: Korexican
Half-Pakistani: Mexistani
Half-Panamanian: Panamex
Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)
Half-Portuguese: Pork and beans
Half-redneck: rednexican, redback, wetneck
Half-Russian: Brown Russian
Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican
Half-Samoan: Samexican
Half-Scotch: McRiguez
Half-Turk: Turxican
Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself “spam.” A Cuban Jew goes by Jewban, while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a Minneruvian. Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that Dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is “anus” in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho:
How about an American, like all of us mutts?
Don’t see your nickname? E-mail me at THEMEXICAN@ASKAMEXICAN.NET, and I’ll compile a full list for my as-yet-unfinished Web page!
