Audio By Carbonatix
Dear Person, Hi, you may remember me, your anus? Yeah, I know we haven’t had a one-on-one chat since the Spoiled Shrimp Incident of ’06, but I’m still down here, doing all your dirty work. It’s all right, I know it’’s a thankless job; I don’t expect a medal or anything. But could I make one small request? Rumor has it that you’re thinking about entering La Costeña’s Feel the Heat Jalapeño Eating Challenge. I beg of you, please be cautious. Because while those jalapeños may be delicious going down, the same capsaicin that makes your mouth tingle and your eyes water can make for an uncomfortable situation later on, if you get my drift. And if you try to beat the Dallas record of 16 jalapeños in one minute, you will definitely be getting my drift, buddy, no doubt about it. I know the $500 prize is tempting, but think of the price you’ll pay about, oh, six hours later. So, go, have fun at the contest at Fiesta, 275 N.E. 28th St. in Fort Worth, at 3 p.m. Sunday, but just keep me in mind, OK? Hope I didn’t sound like an a-hole about this.
Sun., July 8, 3 p.m.
