Audio By Carbonatix
The Yu Dog at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington has created a food media circus. But he’s not the only DFW sports icon worthy of his own dish at The Ballpark in Arlington, Jerryland and the AAC. Here are some others.
1. Tom Landry
Enormous fedora filled with chili. Feather garnish optional.
2. Nolan Ryan
Two-pound slab of organic beef, loaded into a Heater Pro pitching machine and hurled at your face at 102 mph. Catch it, and it’s free.
3. Michael Irvin
Fried mink.Iincludes free plastic pinky finger to dip cocaine flavored dipping sauce.
4. Troy Aikman
Chicken Fried Steak. It’s all-American and so is he, dammit.
5. Mike Modano
A super fast melting popsicle. With great hair.
6. Michael Young
Grilled cheese sandwich. A little boring, but it’s really, really good and you’d rather have that than anything new and crazy that you don’t trust. And once you buy it, you can’t change your mind and ask for a trade.
7. “Mean Joe” Greene
At all UNT home games: a dirty thirty of Keystone Lights and 4 Taco Bell crunchy tacos.
8. Leon Lett
Giant, embarrassing platter holding a complete Thanksgiving feast. Platter is coated with Crisco and only sold in the last 15 seconds of the game.
9. Emmitt Smith
Diamond crusted tilapia. Upgrade to the Holy Shit WHAT Package and Emmitt will hang out with you during the game because he’s like….the NICEST guy on the planet. And he’ll probably drive you home.
10. Ivan Rodriguez
Pudge Fudge. Served on a bed of whipped butter. Topped with Dippin’ Dots and crushed Oreos. Free tight pants with purchase.
11. Roger Staubach
The Hail Mary, duh. It’s a 3-pound pig-in-a-blanket. Enjoy.
12. Jason Kidd
The Triple Doooouuuuble! Nachos! Hot Dog! Pizza! With free bottle of Centrum Silver!
13. Steve Ott
Fried Otter. But you have to fight it to the death.
14. Brittney Griner
Bear meat. Really good bear meat. Like you could eat it 40 times and never lose.
15. Juan Gonzalez
Sandwich. Don’t mind that needle sticking out of it.
16. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
A giant sweaty turkey leg wrapped in rice paper pre-printed with Bible verses.
17. Von Erichs
Frito Pie. Then someone gives you a double high five. In the head. With a foldy chair.
18. Rafael Palmiero
Hot dog. Garnished with a huge mustache.
19. Charlie Hough
Pork knuckle sandwich.
20. Daryl Johnston
Various moussed meats and a mousse pie platter.
21. Nate Newton
Basket of celery stick and a bottle of water. Dude is serious about his health, y’all. Can’t have no basket of fried stuff with various sauces and cheeses.
22. Deion Sanders
Prime Time! Only $199.95 and you get a big ass prime rib! And free dance lessons! And a bandana!
23. Demarcus Ware
Duh. A big ol’ bowl of Chunky Soup served to you by LaDainian Tomlinson’s mother. Gotta mix it up.
24. Lebonte Brothers
Giant bucket of Bud Light surrounded by 6 pounds of beef jerky. They call it the “Fuckit Buckit.”
25. Brett Hull
Instead of Brett Hull serving YOU food, ordering “The Hully” will allow you to force feed Brett Hull a plate of that crap they serve at Hully and Mo’s. And then he pays you American money.
