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A couple of days ago, Fingers o’ Fury and I spent the last who-knows-how-long looking up places we don’t live any more (Los Angeles for Bobsky, NYC for me) with the Google Maps street view option. In much the same way people try to make themselves part of natural disasters, crimes and rock concerts they actually missed by years, months or miles, I’ve been fantasizing about how, if I still lived in New York City, I could find the apartment I don’t live in on Google Maps street view and see a remarkably recent 360-degree picture of it.
Dallas ain’t got no such thing. Oh, sure, Houston does. So do two cities in the verified freakshow that is the state of Florida, along with Denver, Las Vegas and San Francisco, where, it turns out, people take exception to the fact that you could basically see into their windows via the Internet. (World’s best illustration of this: the “I can has privacy?” lolcat.)
In any case, if all your exes live in Texas, you might as well get crackin’ on that Houston street view, since there’s nothing more awkward than a disoriented stalker. –Andrea Grimes
