DFW and Love Not Playing Noem Video. We Have Better Ideas.

Neither Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport nor Love Field is playing a controversial video by U.S. Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem in which she blames Democrats for the ongoing federal government shutdown, joining dozens of major airports across the nation, according to news reports.

A spokesperson for DFW told The Dallas Morning News that the video, intended to be displayed on monitors at TSA security checkpoints, violated the airport’s policy against displaying advertising for political issues. A Love Field spokesperson told The News that the video also violated its policies.

CNN checked with 50 airports around the country and found that airports in Detroit and Bismarck, North Dakota, were showing the video, meaning that it’s guaranteed to be seen by at least dozens of travelers.

In the video, Noem says, “It is TSA’s top priority to make sure that you have the most pleasant and efficient airport experience as possible while we keep you safe. However, Democrats in Congress refuse to fund the federal government, and because of this, many of our operations are impacted, and most of our TSA employees are working without pay.”

For nervous travelers, hearing that the TSA workers charged with ensuring safety aren’t getting paid probably isn’t the most soothing message as they wait at a checkpoint. However, anyone traveling to Texas from Denver or Los Angeles, where weed is legal, might consider loading up for the flight, because how vigorous would you be working for free? (Just kidding, TSA people. I know you’re not slacking off, and I have mad respect for your continuing to work for us without pay. Please don’t demand a full body search the next time I fly.)

So, no need to worry, flyers. Though anyone boarding a flight with a companion dog in Detroit or Bismarck might want to consider asking their vet for some puppy tranquilizers. Animals have keen senses, and spotting Kristi “I Shoot Bad Dogs” Noem’s face, Big Brother-like, on a video screen might make the pups think they’re being taken to “a farm.”

While Noem’s video is political hack work and possibly violates a federal law banning federal employees from taking part in partisan activity on the job, we do think DFW could up its security game with some helpful, and vastly more entertaining, videos demonstrating things not to do while traveling.

For example, please keep your clothes on in the terminal.

And if you do strip, don’t bite or stab anyone.

And this. Oh, hell no. Never do what Tiffany Gomas did.

In fact, looking over stories about weirdness at DFW in recent years, here’s another suggestion. Bring a few extra bucks and tip your TSA workers. They’ve earned it.