Courtesy of The PoBoy Shop.
Audio By Carbonatix
Of all the arcade games, the claw machine has to be the most educational for kids growing up in capitalist America. (Yeah, that’s right, we’re using this story about a game promoting a restaurant at SMU’s homecoming to say something pinko and snarky. We’re the Observer. Sue us. Wait, don’t sue us. Just troll us online.)
We’ll get back to the polito-snark in a second, but first, the who, what and all that jazz.
Tailgaters at SMU’s game on Saturday against the University of Miami will have the chance to try their hand at The PoBoy Shop’s branded claw machine from 8-11 a.m. on SMU Boulevard. Instead of the usual cheesy toys, players can snag po’boy sandwiches, fries, gumbo, drinks and, of course, “more.” The items appear to come contained in plastic spheres, so it’s not like players will be scooping up clawfuls of loose gumbo, though to be honest, for a taste of good Louisiana-style gumbo, we wouldn’t hesitate to lick a claw. Cajun food is the best. Great music, too.
But why, you’re probably not wondering, would we say that claw machines are tools of capitalist indoctrination? Well, they give kids an early taste of gambling, which apparently constitutes roughly 85% of the nation’s economy these days. The levers are always wonky, giving a false illusion of control. You’re tantalized with really cool-looking prizes only to find they’re a cheat and a lure jammed in the machine, possibly glued. If you do manage to overcome stacked odds and snag a prize after dumping tons of quarters, you find that it’s really just a piece of pointless, disposable, overvalued consumerist crap, not gumbo. Sound familiar?
Sorry. Look, just ignore us. We sucked at claw machines and really wanted that damn Hot Wheels. Plus, all this talk of Cajun food late in the afternoon has us hangry. So go. Take your free shot at grabbing something tasty and root for — or place a bet on — the home team.
Meanwhile, we’re thinking of stopping by The Po’ Boy Shop at 8421 Westchester Drive in Preston Center, whose press release promises “Louisiana-style hot and cold po’boys made with house-prepared deli meats, scratch-made sauces, and bold Cajun flavors — all rooted in the traditions of South Louisiana.” It’s open 11 a.m.-8 p.m., and it serves muffalettas, aka God’s sandwich.
