Dallas Man Was Amish for a Week Before Being Chased Out With an Ax

A rite of passage for the Amish is rumspringa, an elective period during which Amish teenagers leave their insular communities to see if the modern luxury of air conditioning can sway them from their Amish baptism. The tradition is the focal point of TLC’s mega-hit show, Breaking Amish. But seldom do the English – what the Amish call anyone who isn’t a part of their conservative religious group – venture into one of the church’s settlements. Until now. 

Flipping the script, TLC brought six outsiders into an Amish community for its new show, Suddenly Amish. One of the participants is from North Texas, and we sat down with him just days after viewers learned he quit the show a week into Amish life.

In perhaps a record-setting time to get banished, Matt Martin, an elementary school librarian from Forney, was chased off the property by his ax-wielding Amish host, James. Martin was kicked off for being divorced, a sin that about a quarter of the American population (and soon Ken Paxton) has committed. He knew his marital status might be a problem for the strict Bible interpreters, but not the kind that would produce a one-man angry mob. The altercation was enough for Martin to give up his dreams of a zipper-less life. Yes, zippers are too advanced technology for the Amish.

“I assumed that they wouldn’t be pleased with me being divorced,” he told the Observer. “I didn’t think that it would be as big a deal as it was.”

James, who opened his house to Martin, is a strict Amish man who is being shunned from a different community for secretly obtaining a cell phone. He participated in the show, hoping to gain belonging in a new settlement. Martin cites dealing with James as one of the hardest parts of his week as an Amish man.

“He probably had it out for me,” Martin says. “Especially with ax in hand, it felt like there was no conversation to be had. It felt really immature and really aggressive.”

Divorce Is a Big Axe Deal

James pursued Martin with his ax propped on his shoulder, enraged just minutes after hearing the D word. 

“He can’t remarry if he joins the Amish church,” James said in a private confessional in the episode. “I don’t know why he’s here. If these Englishers don’t comply, all my effort to be redeemed back into the Amish would be in vain.”

The six outsiders were welcomed to the community to eventually boost the population through procreation. According to the show, the Amish are at record lows, and they’ve rarely converted new members willing to abandon the perks that came with the advent of the lightbulb. Thus, the tight-knit communities are prone to inbreeding and all the accompanying congenital issues. 

“We were hoping to expand our bloodlines,” James said to Martin as he prepared to escort him out. “Now we can’t.”

The divorced father of two hadn’t anticipated such a strict interpretation of the Ordnung, the bylaws by which an Amish community abides, especially from James, who opened the show by unveiling his secret stash of worldly items and taking a swig of his claimed favorite of the “Devil’s juice[s],” Chambord. 

“I’m not going to let them bring any evil in here,” said the man with horrible taste in liquor and what would seem like a desire for a second shunning. “There’s a chance, or a risk, that these English might destroy the community. They could cause enough disharmony to the point that it topples the church.”

We did not reach out to James for comment because we cannot, as he has no email address. And we couldn’t find the number for his secret flip phone in the Yellow Pages. 

Not too Qualm-ish About the Amish

The concept for the show begets many questions. The primary one being: Why would anyone do this? Martin said he needed an ultimate “touch grass and find yourself” moment.

“[I was] just trying to find who I am as a person,” he told us. “I felt very thrown off track with my life, and really felt like life was happening really fast. It’s just the simplicity of the Amish lifestyle and the religious aspect of it.”

One might have suggested the tried-and-true hair dye aisle or a trip to Thailand first.

There are varying levels of technological avoidance among Amish sects; some have cars, others have begun to embrace propane-powered washing machines. The Amish with whom Martin had his trial have adopted neither. That wasn’t so bad for Martin, though, who thought sacrificing his phone would be the worst part.

“We all pretty much knew what to expect going in, but the realities of [Amish life are] a lot different,” he told us. “It’s 90 degrees in the house and just so hot, and you’re not sleeping. I think the AC was the hardest thing for me, honestly.” 

Based on the interview, which was conducted over the phone and initially coordinated via Instagram direct messages, Martin didn’t join the Amish on Reckoning Day. But even the outhouse bathroom with newspapers for toilet paper (not ours, we hope) did not disenchant Martin from Amish life. He said he would try it again, as long as there wasn’t a “hypocritical” arch-nemesis figuratively praying on his downfall.

“Pleasure at least meeting, I don’t know if we’ll ever meet again,” James said in the episode. Perhaps he spoke a little too soon, because Martin was suddenly Amish, then suddenly not at all, but could be again soon.

On the off chance that rule-breaker James is using dial-up internet to read this now, we’re happy to send you our proprietary brew, or a bottle of gin, or literally anything other than Chambord. 

Suddenly Amish airs on TLC on Tuesday nights at 9 p.m., and can be streamed on HBO Max.