Photo by Max Fray
Audio By Carbonatix
Dallas didn’t write the book on being judgmental, but it probably could have. Ironically, though, it’s the latest social media target of a book dedicated to harshly judging U.S. cities.
Billed as “The Potential New York Times Best-Selling Book Based on the Controversial Tumblr Blog,” Judgmental Maps is the product of the robust hater culture of our modern times. And as a city that has long been bestowed with a nickname like “City of Hate,” we have to laugh. If you dish it, you’ve gotta be able to take it, right?
The social media post dedicated to our city reads, “Dallas is what happens when someone builds a city using only LinkedIn posts and HOA rules.”
They certainly have their own way with words.
We’re not going to lie; they did clock a few pockets of the city pretty accurately. We really can’t argue with University Park being dubbed a “BMW/Lexus/Mercedes-only zone” filled with entitled Republicans. North of Interstate 635 getting renamed “Aggregate” got a chuckle out of us. And some of it is just objectively true: Churchland? This is the extravagant epicenter of the nation’s megachurches. Uptown, of course, is home to the $30,000 millionaires we all know and hate to see coming.
Some of the designations are questionable at best, though — Inbredville? This is Texas, not Missouri. Northeast Dallas being an enclave for Nickelback fans seems inconclusive, but we’re willing to let that one slide based on the amount of Dodge Rams that seem to constantly re-spawn over there.
The map isn’t exactly “politically correct,” so we’ll just choose to ignore some of the lazier designations.
If you aren’t as humored by this… analysis, and need something to take the edge off, you can peruse the book’s Houston and Austin shade. The blog that birthed the book seems to have forgotten Fort Worth, but some jokes write themselves, as they say. If you’re married to the game of hating (this is Dallas, so that’s basically biblically binding), you can submit your own map to drag Cowtown.
