By The Hair of Your Chin

Have you seen that place in the mall called The Art of Shaving? When I saw it, I thought, “Damn. That’s not something that should be in the mall. Talk about some seriously X-rated shit. What, do they shave hearts, spades and diamonds into it or something?” And then, I realized it’s just somebody trying to bring back the “art” of shaving your face with a blade. So, getting a shave from a barber is trying to make a comeback right when Sweeney Todd (the story of a guy who gets all pissed when his family is unjustly taken from him and so he goes nuts and becomes a murdering barber) is making a comeback? Thaaaat’s unfortunate. You know a part of every d-bag who sits in that Art of Shaving chair is gonna be like, “This guy has a knife. To my throat. If he starts humming ‘The Ballad of Sweeney Todd,’ I’m so totally screwed. Ooooh. Shiny.” At 8 p.m. Wednesday, see Sweeney Todd at the Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St. Busy getting your art shaved Wednesday night? No worries. The show plays at 8 p.m. Thursday and Friday and 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Tickets cost $16 to $62. Call 214-631-ARTS (2787) or visit ticketmaster.com.

Jan. 15-20, 8 p.m.; Sat., Jan. 19, 2 p.m.; Sun., Jan. 20, 2 p.m., 2008