Damaged Goods

Not as bad as its rep–Miramax has been hiding this sucker on the shelf for danged near two years–but not good enough to overcome its status as damaged goods, which is almost a shame, since audiences will miss Billy Bob Thornton’s best performance, and hairpiece, in years. (He’s having a monster’s ball, pardon.) This is a comedy Dr. Phil could wrap his moustache around in a loving embrace: Two couples (Thornton and Natasha Richardson, barely in love; Patrick Swayze and Charlize Theron, desperately trying to get pregnant) take a road trip from Arkansas to Nevada and leave their white trash scattered all across the Southwest. Once it’s revealed to all that Thornton and Theron have had a brief tryst–two humps, like a camel–things fall apart, though, blessedly, not for long; these people deserve each other, and a slightly better movie that doesn’t patronize and preach at the same time (Richardson, turns out, is pretty on the inside, too–whatever). Docked a point for using Penelope Cruz for a split second as a Reno hooker; come to think of it, brief cameos become her.