Mean Girls

In classrooms across the country, little girls with acerbic wits are told every day, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” After all, we’re composed of sugar and spice. Boys get a little leeway—a tough exterior and a “You want summa this?” attitude are qualities to be admired in those made of snips, snails and puppydog tails. But for every girl who’s been called a bitch for telling it like it is or given a one-way ticket out of the room for making a crude joke when she should have been acting demure, there is the patron saint of down ‘n’ dirty: comedienne Lisa Lampanelli. Black? Brown? Yellow? White? Male? Female? You’re an asshole for being any of these things, and Lisa’s happy to tell you all about it. Invited to boys-only Friars Club roasts and a regular on The Tonight Show, Lampanelli is the self-crowned “Lovable Queen of Mean.” And she knows you’ll pay good money for the opportunity to be on the receiving end of one of her rants. Bow to the queen by paying $32.75 to see her 8 p.m. Saturday at the Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St. Visit insultcomic.com.

Sat., April 7, 8 p.m.