Audio By Carbonatix
Laydeez, raise the terror alert to red and don your protective gear. Local authorities have identified a serious threat to your panties. Look out for Tom Jones, suspected leader of a known terror cell, the Panty Patrol (no confirmed affiliation with Taylor Hicks’ Soul Patrol, though they have similar M.O.s.) Jones is said to be armed with a crooning voice and devastating smile, but he may also possess a WMD, or “weapon for moms’ drawers.” This WMD may prompt middle-aged women to toss undergarments at Jones, creating tragic loss of vital control tops. To avoid the long-term consequences of a WMD, local authorities suggest potential victims use the utmost of care in attending Tom Jones’ concert at Nokia Theatre, 1001 NextStage Drive in Grand Prairie. The show begins at 8 p.m. on Thursday. Tickets are $39.50 to $75. Call 972-647-5700.
Thu., June 15, 8 p.m.
Will you step up to support Dallas Observer this year?
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If the Dallas Observer matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
