Ten Very Disturbing Pieces of Art to Prepare You for the Apocalypse

When the end of the world comes to knock, it’s best to be prepared. Have your home in order, and all that. So we at Mixmaster thought it would be fun to sew together some of art’s most disturbing, prophecy-strangling, all-out night terror-inspiring legacy pieces. This way, your aesthetic muscle memory can tone up — pump a little iron, and brace itself for the shape-shifting lizard people of the fourth dimension’s imminent arrival. Also, because scary art is fun. Here’s ten we think you might (not) enjoy.

10.) The Great Day of His Wrath, (The End of the World), by John Martin
At his best, Martin painted some of the most cavernously apocalyptic images of his day. We’re talking summertime blockbuster status here. Lines of people formed, clamoring for peeks at his latest and greatest (largest and most over-the-top). He played into it, desperately. With time, his quasi-historical paintings spread larger. His mountains stretched higher. Flames became full-on infernos — you get the picture: he knew then what we know now: damnation sells.

9.) Between Two Worlds, by Jon Serl
Leave it to the folk artists to show a lighthearted look at limbo — I mean at least those spirits seem happy. Our protagonist however, is less so. They’re waiting in every corner, tickling his ear, and rudest of all, they’re laughing while they do it. Jerks.

8.) Judith and her Maidservant, by Artemisia Genileschi
Artemisia gets downright biblical in this one, which shows Judith and her personal assistant just after they’ve slaughtered Holofernes. It doesn’t come from a place of wrathful soul-damning like some of the others in this list, but it is deliciously gruesome. Without looking closer, there could be anything in that basket. But then we see the severed head, and the “Did you hear that?” look on Judith’s still oddly poised face. Pro tip: Ladies, you might need a sword come Friday.

7.) Satan Smiting Job with Sore Boils, by William Blake
Yes, I agree, you could put almost any William Blake painting or etching up for inclusion on this list. Ghost of a Flea? Yeah, that would have been a scarier visual image. Any of the Great Red Dragon paintings? Sure, they’d make for killer heavy metal album art, but you cannot beat the name of this one. Not now, not ever.

6.) Aurora by Remedios Varo
While this piece is more Tim Burton spook than a fire and brimstone freakout, I like this window into the spirit world. It’s inspiring. It makes me think that in the afterlife we’ll all be surrealist steampunk designed well-to-dos, ripped from the pages of Ruben Toledo’s Style Dictionary. I supposed we could do that now, while we’re alive, but it seems like too much work.

5.) Figure with Meat, by Francis Bacon
Behold, the slaughterhouse. The pope. The morbidity of the color pallet. While this painting doesn’t signify a biblical prophecy, it also isn’t boring. In fact, it’s downright creepy as all get-out and it always makes me think of this scene in Batman.

4.) The Last Judgement, by Hans Memling
Pop the soda top and chug down this cool, refreshing can of damnation. Memling paints a great demon, and maximizes their torture abilities by giving them hand feet. See that little guy on the lower right in the Hell side of the triptych? He’s choking one soul out with his foot while using his hands to whack another with a pole. Now that’s multitasking.

3.) Saturn Devouring his own Son, by Francisco Goya
Part of the “The Black Paintings,” a private collection of very morbid, for-his-eyes-only work is this, which goes all Roman mythological on you. Gods have to watch their backs, you know? They can’t just have tiny versions of themselves running around, waiting for the right moment to gain power. So, they must be stopped. And in this case, gobbled up. And you think holidays with your family are tense?

2.) Artwork from De Civitate Dei, (City of God), a text by St. Augustine
Here’s the deal with the fifth century: Those people loved drawing animalistic hellmouths. They’re everywhere, and often they have multiple faces so they can eat the sinners more efficiently. In theory, it should scare you into doing better deeds and all that, and maybe back then it did. Today, I kind of want that picture in my kitchen. Also, I’m not a fan of neck tattoos, but if you’re getting one for the end of the world, you really can’t top a good hellmouth.

1.) The Garden of Earthly Delights, by Hieronymus Bosch (weirdo)
It’s almost a cliche to name this as the best judgement picture — it has a dorm wall feel to it. Still, Bosch was the original weirdo and who do you turn to in the final moments? Freaks, that’s who. They make you feel pulled-together and calm, comparatively. I mean, I’ve never considered painting a bird that poops souls to damnation or pigs dressed as nuns making out with the tortured. That’s the Bosch zone, but come Friday night, we might all live there. Go ahead, get the lay of the land.