To Air Is Human

I’m not much of a guitar player. Worse, I’m an embarrassingly bad air-guitar player…mostly because, despite my lack of actual guitar skills, I still try to feign expertise at actual playing when I get around to faking it. It’s bad: I twiddle my fingertips as I slide my hand up and down an imaginary fret board, trying to act like I know what I’m doing. Only I don’t, so it ends up looking like my right arm’s having a seizure as my left is doing some sort of mangled jazz hand thing. But at least I know I’m bad. I know, for instance, that I’m no C-Diddy or Bjorn Turoque. Who are they? Uh, only two of the greatest air-guitar players in the world. There was even a documentary–2006’s Air Guitar Nation–made on their attempt to win top honors at the world championships, held each year in Finland. At 10 p.m. Saturday, at the House of Blues’ Back Porch, Dallas air-tists (OK, I just made that up) will try their hand at becoming the next great air-guitar player, participating in the Texas regional competition of the U.S. Air Guitar Championships. Tickets are $10; visit usairguitar.com for info.

Sat., July 26, 10 p.m., 2008