Trick Ponies

Want to see some creepy pallbearing clowns jump around at a funeral? Go pay a million fafillion dollars and see Frenchie’s Cirque du SoNotAsCoolAsItUsedToBe. Me? I’m paying 15 bucks to see the Vault Texas 2007 Benefit. It’s got all the gymnastics you could possibly want—and it’s on horseback. Did you hear me, people? Gymnastics on freaking horseback. And I’m not just talking kiddie gymnastics here. This stuff is full-on, horse-running-full-blast-and-you’re-balancing-on-the-horse’s-back-while-you-hold-somebody-else-up-over-your-head gymnastics. Kerri Strug ain’t got nothing on these gymnasts. And if the crazy horsenastics (you like that? I just made that up) aren’t enough to keep you entertained, you also get armadillo racing, mechanical bull rides, live performances by King Creole and tasty food and bevs. From 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, see the Vault Texas 2007 Benefit raise money for the American Vaulting Association and Equest (a Dallas-area Therapeutic Riding Center) at Stargate Sport Horses, 2700 FM 407 East in Argyle (in Denton county north of DFW Airport). Tickets will cost you a mere $15 per person (kids 12 or under are free). Call 1-866-55-TICKETS or visit inticketing.com.

Sat., March 3