What Was Gov. Abbott Thinking When He Tweeted About the Cowboys? Twitter Has Some Ideas.

Gov. Greg Abbott’s tweet during the Dallas Cowboys’ heartbreaking, if predictable, playoff loss to the San Francisco 49ers on Sunday was presumably a joke. Not an especially bad one – he’s said worse things online – but then social media has never been a particularly friendly place for hard-right conservatives’ humor, even when they’re trying to be funny.

Twitter lit the governor up.

The Cowboys game on Sunday ended with a 19-12 loss to the 49ers, and place kicker Brett Maher got a share of the blame when San Francisco blocked a weak extra-point attempt after the Cowboys’ only touchdown. It didn’t help that Maher had missed four extra-point tries the previous week against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but that doesn’t make him a valid scapegoat this week when there would’ve still been a six-point difference had he made the kick.

Still, the governor, who uses a wheelchair to get around, took to Twitter to aim a kick at Maher.  

I swear, I can kick as good as the Dallas Cowboys kicker.

— Greg Abbott (@GregAbbott_TX) January 23, 2023

Usually, governors send out a message of support when one of their state’s home teams wins or loses the big game. (In fairness to the governor, the Cowboys have been losing early playoff games for a long, long time. Since the 1880s, seems like. We’re all tired of it.)

Regardless, the rest of the internet jumped on Twitter to tell Abbott his joke didn’t even ping off one of the uprights. @TheGnudz explained that maybe it’s because the only thing Abbott knows how to do with any care and efficiency is kick people.

Haha, we get it. Even from your wheel chair you can kick people when their down.

People like place kickers, immigrants, women, and poor people.

You must be so proud. #AbbottFailedTexasAgain

— Noodles (@TheGnudz) January 23, 2023

Maybe Abbott tweeted it because he also knows more than the average human being about how it feels to kick the equivalent of an airball in football, according to a suggestion posted by @diorginyard.

trust me, you’ve accomplished the equivalent of several missed kicks buddy.

— Dior Ginyard (@diorginyard) January 23, 2023

Gary Allen decided to steer away from the governor’s words and provide some helpful advice to the team instead. They sure could use the help right now.

Yo put the team on a bus to Martha’s Vineyard and start over.

— Gary Allen (@garyallen262) January 23, 2023

Comedian Maz Jobrani has one possible theory about the reasoning behind Abbott’s tweet and, frankly, it’s not comforting even if it explains a lot.

Are you drunk tweeting?

— MazJobrani (@MazJobrani) January 23, 2023

Comedian Tim Fancher looked at Abbott’s tweet from another angle. Maybe it had nothing to do with the point that Maher cost his team and more about where the ball landed after he kicked it.

You’re just upset that everything he kicks goes LEFT

— Tim Fancher (@timfanchercomic) January 23, 2023

Finally, Jeff Dee suggests that maybe Abbott’s confusion has less to do with sports and more to do with geography.

You know that Dallas is in your state, right?

— Jeff Dee |🇺🇸 (@opertinicy) January 23, 2023