Warm Wizards

Ten thousand years (6,000 in the South) of human development have finally brought us to the precipice. Not the Internet and its bounty of free porn. Not even the first black president. I’m talking about–wait for it–sleeves in a blanket! Sure, we may be in a recession, but Snuggies prove the magic of capitalism, without which we’d plunge into a dark age, void of dynamic ideas like armholes in a piece of cloth, leaving the huddled masses with no option but their bathrobes. Fortunately, the good folks at TM Advertising can help us adopt the new Snuggie technology quickly, lest we slip back into sleeveless barbarism. They’re throwing the Million Snuggie Snug. Part advertisement, part charity drive–just show up in a Snuggie and get in free. Each attendee looking ridiculous wearing a Snuggie generates a $10 donation from the ad agency to the Dallas-based Stewpot charity. Or–call me crazy–we could just give money we would otherwise spend on dumb products to the Stewpot. But if you insist, the Million Snuggie Snug goes down from 6 to 10 p.m. Thursday at the Quarter Bar, 3301 McKinney Ave. Visit themillionsnuggiesnug.com.

Thu., April 16, 6-10 p.m., 2009