Dallas Summers Don’t Have To Smell Bad

Summer is upon us, bringing with it insufferably hot and humid days.

Scientifically speaking (we aren’t the scientists, to be clear), odors rise with temperature, and you know as well as we do that it’s about to get oppressively hot out here. With so many events bringing people into proximity with one another (film festivals, concerts, 4th of July celebrations, etc.), we want to (respectfully and with kindness) remind everyone of some basic hygiene tips when marinating under the Texas sun.

In the comfort of your own home, you might be able to skip any or all steps of a basic hygiene routine and let your funk flag fly. But when you step out into the world, we believe the many events happening around North Texas would be better served if good hygiene were an inviolable baseline for successfully existing in public spaces.

The exact degrees to which you need to shower, brush your teeth and apply deodorant can be debated and will likely vary. We subscribe to the general social contract that recommends doing all three daily, especially if you are working up a prodigious sweat, but in 2023, The New York Times acknowledged that people with eczema or dry skin may be better served by an every-other-day approach to showering.

Similarly, some people eschew traditional deodorants to avoid certain chemicals – a valid concern. But speaking from one of the statistically hottest cities in the U.S., your natural deodorant, while maybe valid the rest of the year, is no match for a summer in Dallas.

Someone, somewhere, undoubtedly recommends brushing your teeth less than at least twice daily. We will not give them a platform here because we believe in healthy gums and pearly whites.

If you think these all sound like normal, reasonable bare minimums before going out in public, then you are not the target audience for this piece and can just keep scrolling elsewhere.

Instead, this is written for someone else, someone reading it while flies swirl around their head, buzzing at an increasingly higher register in response to the righteous indignation emanating from their host. Maybe even someone you know.

But, again, we write from a place of love and desperate hope for our fellow man — we encourage you to embrace our gentle recommendations above in that spirit. Even if you have felt personally attacked by the memes about people who use a 3-in-1 from head to toe, take comfort in knowing you’re at least embracing efficient cleanliness.

And to anyone reading this who thinks it is a non-issue: We have been sardined in both indoor and outdoor concert crowds in the thick of summer. We’ve also been in bathrooms during the Oak Cliff Film Festival and been smacked in the face by the fetid smell of unwashed flesh. And subsequently, we’ve been seated for a film next to someone who had not yet made the acquaintance with Dove or Old Spice. Filmgoing should be stimulating, but it shouldn’t be an olfactory experience.

While film festivals certainly are a place where the odor of mankind is known to propagate, it is an epidemic that affects concerts as well. The Dos Equis Pavilion is booked and busy during the summer, but even with the heat plaguing us, that lawn fills up quickly, and the shows often begin well before the sun sets.

Outlaw Fest is coming to that specific venue on July 5, bringing some of the greatest musicians of all time. Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan will take the stage alongside The Avett Brothers, The Mavericks, Asleep at The Wheel and Tami Neilson. If everyone pays attention to their basic health and hygiene before arrival, it can be an extraordinary audiovisual experience – no nose required.

This does not apply exclusively to film and music gatherings either. Sure, Dallas will celebrate Independence Day on July 4 at Klyde Warren Park, but celebrating the holiday is far more ideal with the lingering scent of hot dogs, not the science project cooking under your arms..

And listen, the Trinity River odor puts in overtime during the summer to begin with, so an emphasis on very basic hygiene can help contribute to a better overall experience in Dallas. We should be making memories, not making people queasy. And if you disagree, that’s fine — just do so from a distance.