Bono and You Too

Bono, U2 front man, humanitarian and sunglasses model, will speak 7:30 p.m. Friday at the Music Hall at Fair Park; he’s being presented by the World Affairs Council of Dallas/Fort Worth, who apparently opted for Bono when Nik Kershaw, Boy George and the lead singer of a-ha proved unavailable. Anyway, these are some of the things the DATA (Debt, AIDS, Trade, Africa) might say on Friday, mashed together from excerpts of past speeches: “My name is Bono, and I am a rock star. Don’t get me too excited, because I use four-letter words when I get excited. I’m certainly not here as a man of the cloth, unless that cloth is leather. I’m here because I’ve got a messianic complex. And for anyone who knows me, it’s hardly a revelation. I became a rock star here in America, which is cool, and a celebrity, which is not actually very cool. But celebrity is currency, and I have learned to spend that currency carefully. The going rate for change is not cheap. Big ideas are expensive. We’re on the same bus because we share the same beliefs: that Africa, an entire continent, is on fire and the people of America can put that fire out. Africa makes a fool of our idea of justice; it makes a farce of our idea of equality.” And so on. One thing I doubt he will say: “Here we are in our 40-foot lemon—fuck off!” Just a guess. For available ticket info and to join the Council, visit dfwworld.org.

Fri., May 5, 7:30 p.m.