Savarese, also known as the Dallas Death Doula, is inviting people of all ages and backgrounds to her End-of-Life Planning Party on Jan. 11 at Union Coffee in Dallas. There, she plans to introduce the topic of near-death and post-death desires in a lighthearted manner — instead, she says, "of just saying, 'How do you want to celebrate your death?' or whatever.
“If you can lighten the mood with a little joke right up front, then people kind of soften up a bit because people can go into these conversations very on guard, almost like, ‘If I talk about it, it's going to happen,’ kind of thing,” Savarese says.
A death doula is a professional who helps people navigate the emotional challenges of their end-of-life process. Savarese was first introduced to the concept in 2019 after watching an End Well video of Alua Arthur, a death doula and founder of Going with Grace, which offers training for becoming a death doula. She was reintroduced to the topic in 2023 after watching a Ted Talk featuring Arthur, prompting her to study under her training program.
As a death doula, Savares is also an end-of-life planner, which shares roles similar to a death doula but focuses on the logistics and post-death legalities.
After graduating from high school, Savarese attended the Dallas Institute of Funeral Services for four months. She initially thought she wanted to be a mortician but changed her mind and switched to marketing.
“Once I heard about the death doula, I realized that I was hearing at a very young age what they call the death whisper, meaning, I knew I wanted to do something in death care,” Savarese says.
As the Dallas Death Doula, Savarese advertises herself as welcoming and inclusive to all, writing, "As part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I felt a calling to work with other people in my community,” on the "About" page of her website. She says she also serves polyamorous and other nontraditional families.
“There's nothing more painful than seeing someone fight to become their true selves, and then in death, have their family revert them back and bury them with their dead name,” Savarese says. “And to misgender them, that’s very painful to their loved ones.”
Before agreeing to a session with any client, she offers a consultation to ensure they are comfortable with her and understand her service. She does at times refer people to other death doulas if she feels they would be a better match.
“You would want to have a conversation, maybe even date a couple of people before agreeing to marry someone,” Savarese says. “And it's very much like that when you're looking for a death doula because it is such a sacred time in someone's life.”
The Death Doula Community
Considering herself still fairly new to the career, Savarese says the industry is not competitive but it is growing. She cofounded Death Collective North Texas, a social organization for those in death care.Savarese was highlighted in the November issue of D Magazine for her free monthly Death Cafe sessions. Death Cafe is a social gathering where people openly discuss topics surrounding death. Sessions can be hosted by anyone, at any time and have been hosted internationally. Her Death Cafes are held at Union coffee shop on Cedar Springs Road. She has an unofficial partnership with the shop, which allows her to host these events at no cost. Saverese also has an unofficial partnership with Sweet Nothings & Pastries which provides a complimentary cake for each Death Cafe event.
“It's free to attend,” Savarese says. “We have free cake, so free cake and death. I mean, it can't get any better than that.”
Savarese says she was surprised by how much younger attendees at her Death Cafes were than she expected. She had imagined she would be the youngest person among older attendees, feeling "immortal" in comparison. That was until she stood in front of a room full of people she estimated to be in their 20s and 30s.
She recalls one attendee saying, “Somebody could come in and get rid of us at any moment,” a thought that still gives her goosebumps every time she remembers it.
“That was just never a reality for my generation or older generations, and it broke my heart,” Savarese says. “At the same time, it made me hopeful for better deaths in the future. I think [the younger] generation, they're really taking ownership of every aspect of their lives.”
End-of-Life Planning Party
Savarese plans to make her End-of-Life Planning Party on Jan. 11 at Union a quarterly event due to the response she has received. She says that Union has a connection to a Methodist church, and future events may be held at a church or in collaboration with others. A few churches have already reached out.At the event, she plans to hold conversations about death and wants to lighten the mood with a game called The Death Deck. Throughout the event, she will take a card out of the deck that loosely prompts questions about death. Sprinkled within that deck, Saverse says there are “funny death and funeral stories” to lighten the mood.
“What I have found at doing the Death Cafe is everybody has at least one really funny story when it comes to death,” Savarese says.
Each attendee receives a 70-page binder with planning documents that include finances, administrative aspects, the ideal setting during death and related matters.
While Savarese may approach death in a lighthearted way, she says it's still important that people consider planning for their inevitable death. She says there is “nothing more rewarding” than handing off the plans for someone’s death to their loved ones and seeing their relief.
“When we think about who our death impacts, it's our loved ones,” Savarese says. “So if you want to do anything at all as a gift to your loved ones, do your end-of-life planning because it really, truly does allow them to focus on their grief.”
